"Julie! I told you to pick up those toys an hour ago. Why are they still there?" If you have young kids and this sounds familiar, all you need is a bit of routine and a dose of fun. As a long-time parent, I know full well that not all kids enjoy cleaning. Some see cleaning as a source of enjoyment. But if that's not your child, you are not alone. When young kids won't clean, it may be time for a new plan. Here are some of the things I have found effective over the years.
Make a chore chart. This helps with organization and also serves as a good reminder and source of motivation. For young kids who can't read, use pictures to depict each chore, rather than words. This way, your child can translate the chart without assistance. Young kids often thrive on independence. At least, that's how all of my kids were when they were small. Therefore, a chore chart they can use without the help of a parent may yield the best results. It also sets the pattern for kids to become responsible for their own actions. Offer incentive. It's not fair to expect the kids to complete tasks without some kind of incentive. While teaching kids to do some things without being compensated is good, when it comes to chores, I prefer to reward my kids when possible. I leave learning about being unselfish to things like helping others without being asked. We have an elaborate chore chart system that also combines allowance earnings. You may choose to develop another system. Good incentive for young kids could be anything from money to special healthy treats, stickers, and more. Make it fun. Young kids may not always enjoy cleaning. But they may not think of it as a chore if you make it something fun. We like to dance while cleaning or have cleanup and put away races. Making games out of cleaning up can reduce the grueling effect cleaning up may have on some kids. There's no reason not to make it an enjoyable experience for them and it may set a life pattern of seeing the fun in everything. Get organized. Sometimes young kids don't clean up because there is no exact place for each item. If there's nowhere obvious to store their items, young kids will be happy with them being on the floor. After all, they can see all their toys that way. Devising an organizational plan that still allows the kids to easily see and grab their items has always helped in our family. Don't stress. It's easy to panic when your child has thrown everything she owns onto the floor and refuses to pick it up. But as the parent, you should be the calm voice of reason and understanding. Remember that while it can be frustrating, it can be turned around with a little effort. At the end of the day, it is just a mess and not the end of the world. It will get cleaned up when you instruct your child on cleaning and instill some sort of routine. Be consistent. This is the most important part of any routine you decide to go with. As long as you stick to what is relayed to your child, it will get done. My kids have always been better at cleaning when I make sure they clearly follow my instructions and the routine I lay out. You can't tell them something one day and ignore it or say something else the next. Otherwise, all that happens is they get confused and the room doesn't get clean. More from Lyn: Why is My Child's Room so Messy? Can a House with Kids Be Too Clean? 5 Must-Have Items for Organizing a Kid’s Bedroom
Your older kids won't share and you don't know why. You taught them to share as toddlers. But now all of a sudden they seem quite stingy. It's actually something parents deal with on a regular basis. I have even dealt with this in my own children, as well as those I've nannied in the past. When older kids won't share, I find it doesn't always indicate they are being mean. There may be a deeper issue or maybe even a simple parenting solution.
Get To The Root Of The Issue It's easy to get frustrated when you think your child should know better. But there may very well be a simple reason behind your child not wanting to share. Is the item something special? Is there another plausible reason? Sit your child down for a long talk '" only you do the listening. Let your child's words dominate. Even if you don't agree, hear what your child is saying and try to understand why sharing seems so out of reach with this item.
Maybe They Don't Have Much
Older kids aren't as prone to being stingy as younger ones. Is your child hoarding a specific item or group of items because they don't have much else? Sometimes when kids don't feel they have very much, they can appear to be stingy with what they do have. It may not be stinginess, but an attempt to protect what they treasure. Some parents will make the mistake of showering them with gifts when they hear this. Buying a few things is fine. But, let them treasure a few special items that they aren't expected to share with everyone. Are Other Kids Picking On Them, Losing Their Things, Or Bullying? Sometimes kids don't want to share because other kids are bullying them. Who wants to share with someone who is being mean or taking their toys? Have a talk with your child to make sure this is not what's happening. My older kids have certain things they do not like to share with the younger kids. While the younger kids are not bullying them, they aren't always as responsible with some things. Therefore, the older kids hesitate to share certain items and I am fine with this. Have You Instilled Compassion? This is another reason some older kids may not share. If kids are not taught to consider the feelings of others, they really may not understand why they cannot share. Ask them what it feels like when other people do not want to share with them. Be sure they know that what they feel may be exactly what others feel and it isn't nice to make others feel that way. Since this is older kids we're talking about here, you can talk to them like adults. They will understand you. Show Them What It Feels Like When Others Share Share something of yours that you treasure. Once you do, have them describe to you how that makes them feel. Most likely, it makes them feel very special. Be sure to point out that the same feelings will be displayed by those they share their things with. They may be smart enough to know this. But perhaps it isn't the first that comes to mind. Sometimes older kids, and even adults, need to be reminded of these things. Getting to the root of the issue behind older kids refusing to share is as simple as observation. Sit in the sidelines to see what is going on. With a combination of persistence, consistence, and lessons in compassion, your older kids can soon get back to the friendly, caring attitude you know and love. Embrace a Nurturing Journey with Your Infant: Reducing Spit-Up Naturally
As a devoted parent or caregiver, you're likely seeking compassionate guidance on how to gently reduce spit-up. While possible, completely eliminating infant spit-up may be unrealistic. Here, as a seasoned mother and experienced nanny, I share my insights on nurturing strategies to minimize infant spit-up.
Regular Burping: A Key to Comfort Gas often contributes to spit-up in infants. Consistently burping your baby during and after feedings can significantly alleviate this issue. This practice not only helps in reducing spit-up but also promotes overall comfort and happiness in your little one. If burping doesn't seem to help, consider consulting your pediatrician about safe remedies like Little Remedies infant gas drops, generally suitable for babies of all ages. Dairy Dilemma: Avoiding Cow's Milk for Infants Introducing cow's milk to infants can lead to not just spit-up but also inadequate nutrition and other health concerns. To foster your infant's well-being and reduce spit-up, steer clear of cow's milk until your pediatrician's recommended age. Newborns to 12-month-olds thrive best on breastmilk or a proper formula which provides all the essential nutrients for their growth and development. Solid Foods: Timing is Everything Introducing solids prematurely can cause excess spit-up. To mitigate this, wait until your baby is at least 4 months old before expanding their diet beyond breastmilk or formula. This approach benefits your baby's overall health and digestive comfort. Formula and Diet: Finding the Right Fit Occasionally, a baby's spit-up may be linked to their formula or a breastfeeding mother's diet. Identifying allergies or sensitivities and making necessary adjustments can profoundly impact your infant's comfort. Carefully observing your baby to find the most suitable formula or diet for your baby can be a game-changer in reducing spit-up. Be sure to also involve the pediatrician to address any allergies and diet changes. Optimal Feeding Positions: Elevate Comfort Proper positioning during feeding is crucial. Keeping your baby's head and chest slightly elevated and ensuring a good latch can minimize air intake, thus reducing gas and spit-up. Consider using specially designed nipples, bottles, and tools like the Boppy nursing pillow for optimal positioning, whether breastfeeding or bottle-feeding. Breastfeeding Benefits: A Natural Choice While breastfeeding might not be feasible for everyone, it's often associated with reduced spit-up compared to formula feeding. Beyond this potential benefit, breastfeeding offers a myriad of health advantages for both mother and child. If possible, it's worth exploring as a natural way to nurture and bond with your baby. Please Note: I am not a licensed medical professional. This article is intended for informational purposes only. Always seek the guidance of a licensed medical professional for health-related advice.
As a mother to children of various ages and stages, I have studied and dealt with various aspects related to children and sleep. My nannying experience with kids of varied ages also contributed in that regard. So, how much sleep do babies and children need and are your kids getting enough sleep? Read on to find out. How Much Sleep Do Newborns Need? A newborn baby may or may not form an exact pattern at the start. It may even out more after a couple weeks. It is true that newborns are likely to spend around 16 - 20 hours of the day sleeping. But, keep in mind that those hours are not always consecutive and shouldn’t last more than 3 hours at a time. Newborn babies need to eat often, at least every 3 hours, sometimes sooner. Do not skip any feeding times. Sleep Tips and Advice For 3-6 Month Old Babies From 3 to 6 months, a baby may sleep 5 hours all together during the day and 10 at night. 6-8 of the night-time sleep hours might be consecutive. From 6 - 12 months, a baby should sleep around 3 hours during the day and 11 (in total, not consecutive) at night time. To encourage good sleeping habits from the beginning, wait just a couple moments after babies (older than 3 months) cry to respond. The reason for this is that the baby may not always need you. The crying may be occurring in the baby's sleep. If after a couple moments the baby is still crying, then check the basic needs, such as diaper changing, feeding, burping, or replacing the pacifier. Try not to turn on lights or play with babies too much when checking on them at night. Too much stimulation can cause babies to think that bedtime is still playtime. You should instead be teaching the baby that night time is bedtime, so it’s clear that time slot is for sleep. This will help your baby sleep better. If your baby is crying more than a few moments, be sure not to ignore him or her. This is a sign that something is needed. Sleep And Babies 6 Months and Older If the baby is over 6 months, there should be no feedings in the middle of night. Simply comfort the baby for a couple minutes at the crib-side so the baby can ease him or herself back to sleep. Comforting might be patting or rubbing the baby's back. Remember not to actually pick the baby up (unless they are in distress) or it could set a pattern of the baby wanting to be held and played with by you every night. This can be difficult to do, but isn't good for a baby's sleep habits. A baby needs to be able to sleep soundly. Change the diaper or replace the pacifier if necessary. Also, of course, keep an eye on your baby for safety purposes. Never let a baby cry longer than a few moments, as crying is an indication something is wrong, even if you can’t figure it out. Remember that this is a baby’s only way to communicate. How Much Sleep Do Kids Ages 1 - 5 Need? By this age, you should have a bedtime routine established for your child, such as taking a bath, brushing teeth, and then reading a story. If the routine, whatever it is, is followed every night, bedtime should run fairly smoothly. The exact routine is not important, as that will vary from family to family and maybe even child to child. What matters is that you have some routine and that it is followed at a certain time each night. Kids ages 1 - 3 sleep around 10 -14 hours. Some of those hours may be during the day for certain kids, while others may sleep all of them at night and skip a nap. Not all kids need a nap during the day, so if your child does not seem to easily fall into a nap routine, consider taking away nap time altogether and possibly opting for an earlier bedtime. Neither way is the best way for every single kid. All kids are different. From ages 4 - 5, 10 -12 hours of sleep is average. Like the younger set, what time those hours are received is not as important as the fact they get them. For instance, one of my kids at age 4 would take 3 hour long naps, while another, when 5, didn’t nap at all. Not all kids are the same in this regard. As long as a routine is established, it matters not whether kids have a daily nap for some of those hours or the hours are all taken at night. As long as kids are getting a normal average of sleep hours, there should be no concern. However, if kids ages 1 - 5 are awaking several times at night, the pediatrician should be consulted. How Much Sleep Do Kids Ages 6 - 10 Need? Elementary-aged kids need about 9 to 11 hours of sleep. An exact number of hours can be established by paying attention to your child. Irritability or hyperactive behavior may indicate the need for more sleep. Not enough sleep can actually worsen conditions such as ADD or ADHD. For this age, most of those hours would occur at night. Don't forget that even kids beyond the toddler stage will need some quality time with parents before bedtime. Even though children can read on their own at this stage, they might still like a bedtime story. Some may prefer to read to you. Others may prefer to play a game of some sort with you before bedtime. All of my children liked to play games before bed at this age, but two always preferred to read to themselves, rather than be read to. The activity itself matters not as much as the quality time and the routine. It's also a great idea to have little talks with kids before bedtime. This can be a good time for private one-on-one discussions about any worries on the child's mind or just wishes the child has, or anything else he or she wants to say. This can relieve tension, which is a great mood relaxer for bedtime. If your child has problems falling or staying asleep, be sure to contact the pediatrician. How Much Sleep Do Older Kids or Teens Need? Most teens need about 8 or 9 hours of sleep. The problem with that is that they may not get it. Some may be up doing homework late at night. Others might be talking on the phone, emailing friends from the computer, or texting friends from their cell phone. Also, during adolescence, the body goes through physical and hormonal changes that may cause lack of sleep. If your teen seems restless or unable to sleep, it is best to see a doctor to determine if there are any sleep issues that can be resolved. To ensure that they get their sleep, you may have to establish rules about appropriate times for homework, computers, and phones. Sometimes you'll have to do this more than once. Since teens are almost adults, they may feel as though they can do what they want. However, until they are 18, you are still responsible for their well-being. Be sure they get adequate sleep. It is essential to their grades in school, as well as their overall well-being. Figuring Out Individual Sleep Needs Each child's sleep requirements will depend on more than one factor. For one thing, not all of them will have exactly the same requirements because each person is different. However, there are ranges or average amounts of time that each child will likely fall between, depending on their age and other variances. Sleep patterns for children should also be discussed with the child's pediatrician. If your child is having trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or getting too much sleep, try some of our other info on sleep and contact your child's pediatrician.
Kids need to learn there are consequences for every action. But what if time-outs just aren't cutting it? Do you revert to spanking? If your opinion on that method is like mine, then spanking is not an option. For some it might be. But I personally believe it isn't necessary. So what do you do when you feel this way? As an experienced mom, I can tell you there are many alternatives appropriate for each unique situation.
My kid is not phased by time-outs. Some kids just won't sit still in time out, especially smaller kids who are full of energy. Yet others don't seem to really care one way or the other and may go back to the behavior that them into it in the first place. If time-outs won't cut it for your kid, you do have other options. Time-out can be a good aid when it comes to disciplining kids. But it certainly is not the be all and end all and spanking is not the only alternative. Spanking? No way! Each person has their own method and some, like me, are not fond of spanking. If you don't want to use this method and time-outs are not working, don't worry. There are plenty other methods to use. While it sometimes seems so, spanking and time-outs are far from the only options when it comes to discipline. I prefer to use positive discipline with my kids, which basically refers to any method that teaches the lesson in a positive way. Think about the offense. When you want to teach your child a lesson, think about what was done first. The punishment should fit the crime. Don't be too harsh for a mild offense. This could actually cause resentment instead of teaching your child a lesson. At the same time, don't take serious offenses too lightly. The point is to teach kids there are consequences and also to teach them how to learn from their mistakes. If you want to follow positive parenting methods, whatever method you choose should involve something that will do both in a positive way. Why did your child misbehave? Before you can come up with a plan that will teach your child a lesson, you first need to know the reason for the ill behavior. Was your child simply confused at the correct behavior? Did the child not realize the action was wrong? Did the child feel bullied or pressured? Was the child purposefully acting out or being mean? Think about what led to the misbehavior and develop your action plan from there. What lesson are you trying to teach? Are you trying to teach your child to think about a better response next time? Are you trying to teach your child what's right and what isn't? Is your child hitting and you want to instill why that isn't a good thing to do? Do you want your child to know that walls are not for coloring, but coloring books are perfect for it? Think about the exact lesson you want your child to gain and go from there. Put it all together. I find that when I consider the offense, the reason behind it, and what lesson I need my kids to learn, I come up with the best course of action. Sometimes, when in the heat of the moment and trying to think quick, parents can make the wrong discipline choices. We've all been there. Parenting is always a work-in-progress and we live and learn. Each family will have a different course of action that works for them in each situation. The important thing is that your motive always remains to do what's in the best interest of your child. More from Lyn: Positive Parenting Does Not Mean Zero Discipline Easy Discipline Tricks for Babies Guide to Positive Discipline for Children *Note: The author's positive parenting method has evolved into what she calls Upstream Parenting. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network Many children are afraid of the dark and parents are constantly searching for new ways to lessen that fear, and preferably make it non-existent. Throughout the years, parents have tried and invented many methods for this purpose. However, for some reason, it still remains as one of the many quests of raising children. On my quest to solve this mystery, I tried many things. However, none of the traditional ideas seemed to work. That's when I was forced to use my creative side. I decided that to get rid of the fear of the dark, we would have to teach any children with it that the dark was fun. Hence, the "dark party" was born.
What is a Dark Party? A dark party is simply a party in the dark. It is a party in which the dark is celebrated by playing games and doing things you would normally do with the lights on. By doing regular everyday things, as well as playing games and having fun, it may help "normalize" the concept of darkness in a child's mind, which could help to take away some of the fears associated with being in the dark. A dark party can last any length of time the children are comfortable with. I find that one hour seems to be the best. Planning & Organizing the Dark Party The first step in planning a dark party for your child or children is deciding upon who needs to attend. A child who is afraid of the dark will feel more secure if people he or she feel safe with attend the party. This means the parents and siblings should be there. All children in the family who are afraid of the dark should attend the dark party. Also, if your child has friends who are afraid of the dark, invite those children and their parents to the dark party as well. The dark party should take place when it is dark outside, unless you have a room that will not be affected by the light outside. Have an emergency flashlight on hand in case of an accident or a child getting too scared. That way it will be easier to get to the light if necessary. Explaining The Dark Party to the Children Shortly before the dark party begins, you'll want to explain to the children the meaning of the dark party. Explain to them that the lights will go out soon and that there is nothing to be afraid of in the dark. The dark can be fun. Let them know that the party will help them so they won't be afraid of the dark anymore. Be sure they know they will be getting treats and playing games, just like any other party, but it will all be done in the dark. On To The Dark Party To hold the dark party, simply play the games listed below and give children treats during the time you wish. Parents and others there for support should participate in the game-playing. Having the light for significant amounts of time might encourage night lights, instead of encouraging the children not to have fear, so be sure that your dark party stays dark, unless someone’s fear of the dark gets too strong. Parents should have any treats within easy reach, possibly inside of a gift bag with handles, so that it can be held on to during the party. Dark Party Game #1: Dark Charades This is played like charades, but in the dark. Instead of motions, the players will make sounds. The players cannot speak words, but can make sound effects to hint as to what they are portraying. To play, the first acting player decides what he or she wants to do and gives a small hint in one word to the other players. He or she might say "movie" or "thing". The acting player must then make sounds that will get the players to guess what he or she is portraying. The first player to guess correctly then trades places with the acting player. The game continues as long as the host or guests would like. Dark Party Game #2: What's My Secret? For this game, all of the players should be seated in a straight line. The first player tells a secret to the next person and that person whispers it to the next until the secret has been passed to the last person at the end of the line. That person tells the secret out loud. It may be quite different than the original. The original secret teller then tells what was actually said. The end result is often pretty funny. This is similar to the long-played game of “telephone”. The main difference is that this one is played completely in the dark. Dark Party Game #3: Where Are You? This is similar to the popular game of Hide N' Seek. The player who is "it" will just stay where he or she is and close the eyes and count to ten. While he or she is counting, the other players will hide. All players should hide in the same room. Players may hide behind objects, but not underneath or inside objects. Once the person who is "it" counts to ten, all players must be hidden. "It" will search for players asking "Where are you?" Once they’re all found, the last person to be found (or the person who cannot be found) is named as the new “it”. Because this game is played in the dark, it will be slightly trickier than the original. Dark Party Game #4: Silly Stories This one is simple. Party guests should make up silly stories together. Each person says one sentence at a time until players end the story. This can be done over and over. These can get quite funny. This is a good way to get rid of a fear of the dark, since it gets very fun. Dark Party Game #5: Guess The Treat For this game, each guest eats a treat and must guess what they've eaten. Be sure to account for any food allergies beforehand. If anyone is allergic to anything, don't put it in any of the treats, since you will be doing this game in the dark. Important Facts Remember that the author is not a medical or psychological professional. This method may not work on all children and it's possible that some won't be open to trying it or might be traumatized by it. The author has had success using this with her children and it is her sincere hope that it can help many other children combat this fear as well. The author is not responsible for any consequences that may arise from attempting this method with children. One should use their own discretion and the advice of a medical/psychological professional when working with a child's fears. Does your child have a fear of the dark? Have you conquered a fear of the dark with a different method? Have you tried the author's method with either success or failure? Leave your comments and suggestions below. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network "Waa!" "Waa!" "Waa!" "Waa!" - It's 3 o'clock in the morning and the two-month-old is up...again. This is the fourth night in a row. She needs sleep, but can't seem to get there. Neither can the rest of the house. She isn't hungry. Her diaper is fresh. She does not seem to want anything, but to cry. The soothing techniques are simply not working. Parents of babies with colic will recognize an experience all too similar to this.
It can be frustrating to no end when a baby is upset and you feel as if you cannot help. I have been through the experience of dealing with babies with colic several times. Two of my own children had colicky tendencies and I have also been a nanny or babysitter to babies with colic. I have found many ways to help soothe babies with colic through trial and error, as well as advice from various medical experts. I hope my discoveries and lessons learned can help others in a similar situation. Soothing Sounds for Babies With Colic: Running Faucet Laugh all you want. Then, go try it. Sometimes the most unconventional methods are the best ones for babies with colic. Many babies love the sound of running water. Okay, so this one could get costly and wasteful. An easier and more cost-effective way to use this soothing sound for babies with colic is to visit soundsnap.com. There, you will find various faucet sounds and other soothing sounds that babies may enjoy. The sound files are free to listen to and download. Put your music player on the repeat option for the best effect. Soothing Sounds for Babies With Colic: Soft Native American Music One of my favorite ways to help soothe babies with colic is playing soothing sounds and music. Most babies with colic love to hear the sound of music or other soft sounds. A fussy or colicky baby will respond the best to softer sounds. Loud or jarring sounds are probably not a good idea for soothing babies with colic. Because part of our heritage includes a Native American background, along with our vast array of musical tastes, our family enjoys listening to a variety of music sung or played by Native Americans. Here are some of the many Native American songs that I have found to be soothing to babies with colic. *Dawa (The Cradle Song) - Sacred Spirit *Cherokee Morning Song - Walela *Vision Quest (Dreamer) - Airo *Brave Hearts - Brulé *Lay-O-Lay Ale Loya (The Counterclockwise Circle Dance) - Sacred Spirit *Amazing Grace (sung in Cherokee) - Walela *(I Used To) Ride Like the Wind - Airo Sacred Spirit, Walela, Brulé, and Airo can be purchased new or used at Amazon.com. If you would like to sample any of these or try them on babies with colic before buying, some can be sampled at Amazon. At the time this content was being written, I was also able to find all of these on YouTube.com using the YouTube search feature. A few more Native American musical artists worth looking up for use on babies with colic include Manantial, Jackie Bird, Enigma, and Oliver Shanti. Soothing Sounds for Babies With Colic: Traffic For some babies, the sounds of the traffic flow can be soothing. If you live in the city, you may be able to record your own soothing traffic sounds with ease. If not, you can do a Web search for short clips of traffic noise you can download for free. Simply download the one (or more) of your choice and when you play the file, set your computer's music player to repeat the file or files. Soothing Sounds for Babies With Colic: Heartbeat This sound effect can be achieved naturally by allowing baby to hear your heartbeat. However, if you'd like to have a hard copy of a heartbeat, try BabySleepNoise.com. As long as the use is within the terms stated, you can download several comforting noises for free, including a heartbeat. Soothing Sounds for Babies With Colic: Rainforest Sometimes natural sounds can do the trick of soothing a baby with colic. Nature sounds CDs can be purchased at most major retailers. However, if you need something fast, you can also try some free nature sounds by searching YouTube or the Web. Bonus Tips to Soothe & Comfort Babies With Colic Tummy Rocking -- Lie baby on tummy across your lap, across your knees. Sway the legs back and forth in a rocking motion, taking care to support baby safely. I have found this helpful in relieving some of the gas and upset stomach that babies with colic can experience. Coupled with soothing music, this was always the best way to soothe and comfort babies with colic. Change Baby’s Diet -- Sometimes eliminating things from baby's diet can ease the stomach. Lactose intolerance or starting baby on juices and solids too early can cause gas and excessive crying that mimics symptoms of colic. Use Proper Tummy Care Motion -- Do not bounce baby up and down. While this is a common way to soothe a baby, if a baby is colicky or has GERD or acid reflux, this can actually make the symptoms worse. Instead try a slow, gentle rock or rhythmic pats on the baby's back. Babies with colic sometimes need extra care with their stomachs. Remain Calm -- Sometimes just remaining calm yourself can soothe babies with colic. Babies mimic the emotions of their parents and caregivers. The persistent crying of a colicky baby takes patience on the parent or caregiver's part. If you feel yourself getting stressed, it is okay to lie the baby down in the crib while you take a breather. The baby is better off there than in the arms of a stressed out person. Once you can regain your composure, resume calming the baby. The Power of Love -- Never underestimate the power of simple love and care. A little bit goes a long way, but a large amount can make all the difference. Through love and care that you can often accidentally stumble upon the most effective methods for soothing babies with colic. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network Positive Parenting: Tame the Toddler Pouty Lip Tired of that pouty toddler lip sticking out everywhere you go? Toddlers may use the moody, pouty lip to indicate frustration, sadness, and even to get attention. Why is your toddler pouting and how can you tame the toddler pout? I've had many years of first-hand nanny and parenting experience. Because of that, I can honestly tell you the simplest tips are the ones that usually work best. These methods have been tested by me time and time again and proven effective for taming the pouty face on many different toddlers.
Why the pouty face? Getting to the bottom of things should help with a resolution. Figure out why your child is pouting. Did someone take your toddler's favorite toy? Did daddy just leave for work? Use that information to come up with a quick action plan for getting that pouty lip back in its place. It may be as simple as giving back the toy someone took away. But again, it may not. If a toddler's daddy just left for work, you can't reverse that. So you'll need another plan. Sometimes, no matter the reason, a quick solution is best for your toddler's sake and yours. Who doesn't get a pouty face themselves when seeing a sad kid? Laugh it off! This is my absolute favorite method for banishing the pouty lip? Why? Because it's fun for the child, as well as the parent. The next time your toddler sticks out that pouty lip, go for humor. Do something completely funny and completely unrelated and break out into laughter. Turn that pout into a big smile. If you can make your toddler giggle instead of pouting, that's even better. You know your child best, so pull out your funniest tricks. Use props if necessary. Anything that makes your toddler happy is good. I can pout like that, too! Yet another fun method, this gets your toddler thinking about things from another perspective. Get down on your toddler's level and stick out your pouty lip, too. See how long that pouty lip stays in place. The art of mimicking is often enough to get a toddler to understand how silly the pouty lip may be. Now, this method is more for toddlers who are overusing the pouty lip to get attention. You don't want to mock a child who is hurt or upset. That may come across as uncaring. Distraction is a beautiful thing. If the pouty face blues are persistent, try distraction. Use your toddler's favorite activities or items to draw attention away from the upsetting moment. Start playing with a favorite toy or reading a favorite book. It's interesting to see how quickly a toddler can become interested in a new activity. Your toddler may still pout at the beginning of an activity, but once engagement in the activity happens, the pouty lip will be no more. It may be tricky keep a toddler interested at first, but if you make it fun, that pouting face will eventually disappear. Hug that pouty lip goodbye! Sometimes all a pouty-lipped toddler needs is a simple hug. Good old comfort never hurt anyone. In fact, perhaps this was all that was needed all along. Your toddler may just be using the only way he knows to get attention. Even toddlers who are talking may still have some lingering baby habits. Remember that as a baby, your toddler had to be creative in getting your attention. That may still hold true in certain cases. Sometimes the best forms of communication are motions and sound effects. The pouty lip may just mean your toddler needs some extra love. *Note: The author's "Positive Parenting" method has grown and evolved into what she dubs "Upstream Parenting." *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network
Take a magical backpacking journey with your kids, where every step is an adventure and every moment a cherished memory. This guide reveals the secrets to a seamless and delightful hiking experience with children. From choosing comfy gear to mapping out enchanting trails, discover how to transform a simple hike into an epic family saga. Perfect for parents seeking a bonding adventure in nature's embrace, this guide is your key to a whimsical, worry-free hiking experience with your little ones.
Transform Hiking Into A Family Scavenger Hunt Step into a realm of wonder and excitement with your kids by turning your next hike into a thrilling scavenger hunt! This adventure combines the joy of discovery with the beauty of the great outdoors, promising laughter, learning, and memories that will last a lifetime. As you journey along the trail, each step becomes part of a playful quest to find hidden treasures, making an ordinary hike an extraordinary exploration for your family. Get ready to engage in a fun-filled adventure that captivates the imagination of your little treasure hunters. Gear Up for Comfort and Fun: Dress to Impress Nature Equip your young adventurers with the right armor - comfortable hiking shoes and lightweight clothing. Think of gear as their shield against nature's little quirks, from raindrops to sunbeams, and even those cheeky mosquitoes. Little Legs, Big Adventures: Effortless Travel for the Tiny Trekkers Tiny feet might tire, but their spirits never do! For those petite explorers, consider a magical chariot - a backpack carrier or an all-terrain stroller. It's like a flying carpet on wheels, ready to whisk them away when their energy wanes. Fuel the Expedition: A Feast Fit for Young Adventurers Keep those energy levels soaring with a cornucopia of healthy snacks and the nectar of life - water. Assign the noble task of carrying the main water supply to the adults, while each young adventurer proudly bears their own bottle. Discoveries at Every Step: Treasure the Breaks Frequent stops are secret portals to new discoveries. These breaks are for more than just snacks and sips; they're chances to soak in the beauty of nature, to rest, and to giggle about everything and anything. Chart Your Magical Map: Plan Your Quest Knowing your path is like having a treasure map. Choose a familiar trail, one where you can play the wise guide, enchanting your kids with tales of what lies ahead. Journey to Enchantment: A Destination of Wonder Imagine the sparkle in your children's eyes when they reach a waterfall or a hidden grove. Picking a mesmerizing destination isn't just about the end - it's about igniting a fire of excitement and curiosity in their hearts. Transform Your Family Hike into a Storybook Adventure Ready to turn a simple hike into a tale of adventure, laughter, and bonding? Remember, it's not just a walk in the woods - it's a chapter in the grand storybook of your family's life. Equip yourselves with the right gear, pack the essentials, and most importantly, let your hearts lead the way. Don't Miss Out on This Enchanted Journey! Your next family adventure awaits. Embrace the magic, the laughter, and the lessons nature has to offer. This isn't just a hike; it's an opportunity to weave a tapestry of memories with your children. Remember, every step you take is a step towards a treasure trove of stories and smiles. Last updated 12/22/2023
"But if we move, how can I see my friends?" "That's a really long way away from Granny's house. When do I get to see her?" These are some of the questions kids may ask when moving. They will likely be dealing with many difficult transitions. As a parent who has dealt with this type of scenario more than once, here are some of my best positive parenting methods for helping kids transition during a move.
Be quiet and listen. Before explaining a multitude of things about your move, listen to how your child is feeling. Take him for a walk or relax in the backyard and just let him say what he feels. Sometimes just letting everything out, knowing someone hears you, is helpful. This also gives you some insight into what is needed to help him feel better. It's easier for kids to transition when they know they are heard and that their concerns matter. Find solutions for keeping in touch with friends and relatives. If you're only moving across town, it should still be relatively easy to keep up with friends and relatives that once lived nearby. But if your child will need to leave them in another state or country, alternative solutions will be needed. Email, Facebook, a cell phone, or messenger apps are just some of the ways to keep in touch. Be creative and figure out what works for your child, depending on age and preferences. It's easier to transition to a move when familiar people aren't out of reach. Be sure the child knows the reasons for moving. Even if they don't express it, children might feel like a move is their fault. This can especially be true if the move is due to divorce or similar situations. Make the transition more smooth by explaining to your children the reasons for the move. Make sure they know that the move is not their fault. Remain positive about the move. Regardless of the reason for moving, keep it positive. Represent the good aspects of moving to your child. It's alright to discuss some of the things the family doesn't like about moving. But don't forget to also talk about the good things. Are you closer to a nice, new school? Closer to family? Maybe there is an area attraction the kids would enjoy. It's easier to transition when the good things about it are made obvious. Be understanding. Sometimes no matter what you say or do, a child is going to be unhappy about the move, at least at first. Lend an ear and an open mind and heart. Even if it isn't possible to go back to the way things were before, your child needs to know that you understand his feelings. You can tell him your concerns as well and how you are dealing with them. You can also just be a shoulder and source of comfort. In time, your child will very likely transition to the move and before you know it, he'll have new friends to hang out with. The important thing is that you be there for him until he does. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network Positive Parenting Tips: How to Show Kids They Matter
For whatever reason, kids can often feel as though they are the odd one out - that no one understands them. You know full well that your kids matter. Show them just how much with some positive parenting. Most parents do care and want their kids to know that, but some just aren't sure how to put feelings into action.
Give them choices. Although you may want everything to go a certain way, kids should be a part of family decisions, too. Sometimes - maybe many times - not everyone is going to agree on things. Let the kids decide what to do whenever possible. This shows them their thoughts matter to you. When kids know they matter, they may be more inclined to respect your wishes for decisions you must make. Respect their opinions. Even when their opinions differ from yours - and they will sometimes - respect what your kids think. Things don't always have to go their way. But let them be individuals. Sooner or later your child is going to grow up. He needs to know his voice matters to be respected in the world outside your home. Even inside the home, your child's opinions and insight should count. Give them freedom. There are limits to this for safety reasons, of course. But give your kids some freedom. They don't need to be right next to you at every moment. Trust them to do age-appropriate tasks without your assistance. It can be a parental instinct to be a mother hen or a father lion. That's part of being a parent, but if we don't let them do some things for themselves, they will never learn. Let them teach you about their favorite things. You may be old and wise, but kids have so much to teach us adults. Listen. Let your child know that her interests are important to you. Sometimes what kids are interested in don't line up with those of their parents. Still, you need to be supportive of your child's individuality. Don't try to force your interests on him and don't attempt to keep him from his unless they are harmful in nature. Show affection even when they misbehave. Even when kids misbehave, they still deserve your love. Discipline must take place. But that doesn't mean a hug isn't in order. In fact, that may be exactly what the doctor has ordered. Show your child his feelings matter to you by still showing affection, even in difficult times. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network Positive Parenting Tips: Keeping Kids Motivated Positive parenting is about looking for results that have a lasting positive effect on your child. Keeping a child motivated can sometimes be difficult. This is especially true when they start seeing evidence that not all things will work out as planned. As a parent, your job is to keep them motivated and inspired to do good things even when the outlook doesn't seem to match what they want.
Keep a goal chart. Make a goal chart so that kids can keep track of their goals, dreams, and accomplishments. These can be a good mix between small and large goals. Blending them together helps kids see that some things can be accomplished quickly and easily, while others may take more time and effort. If you only track large goals, that could discourage some kids when they see how long it's taking. On the flip side, if you only track smaller, simple goals, they may think everything in life is easy, which could backfire when there are certain things they cannot have or do right away. Cheer them on. When watching your kids achieve goals, milestones, and achievements, don't forget to cheer them on. This is true with the items on the chart and just everyday achievements. It can be easy to just shirk off the simple things after a child tells you about the same or similar things every day. But, if your child is excited about something, big or small, cheer her on anyway. Don't dwell on failures. It's only natural that your child will not succeed at everything. Don't focus on these things. It's alright to offer encouragement for your child to try again. But don't focus overly on the negative aspects of failure. Instead, find the positive things that occurred in the process of trying to obtain goals. Let them know they motivate you. Most parents get inspired by their kids often. But how often do we let them know how they make us feel? We might tell them we love them. But when your kids inspire you to do something, do you tell them you are doing it because of them? Doing so lets them know they have the ability to do great things. Foster what excites them. Does your child get especially excited over something in particular? Harbor that interest. If it's dance, get him in dance classes and offer gentle - not pushy - encouragement and guidance. If it's medicine, take her to medical museums, buy books, and register her for age-appropriate classes. Fostering and encouraging their natural interests, without pushing them or expecting too much, helps children develop self-confidence. This motivates them to be the best they can be as individuals. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network Positive Parenting: Why Doesn't My Teen Trust Me? As a veteran parent, I often get asked questions about raising children. Teenage years seem to be the toughest for many parents. This is in part due to the fact that kids start becoming independent. One question people ask often is "Why doesn't my teen trust me?" Is the parent at fault when teenagers don't trust them? Is there a deeper reason or is this just a part of the transition into adulthood?
Does your teen have reason not to trust you? Take a look at how you interact with your teen. Do you break promises to him? Do you do more talking than listening? Perhaps your teen is afraid you will want him to do things just like you and his beliefs differ from yours. Examine your relationship to see what you can do to build upon trust. It is not always the parent's fault when this happens. There also may be a simpler explanation. But don't automatically assume the problem can't lie with you. Your teen may simply be looking for a friend, not a parent. Let her trust in her friends rather than you when she needs to. It is not necessary for her to tell you everything about her life. While it is hard to realize that our children are growing up, we need to give them their own space. Just because she isn't trusting in you, does not mean you are a bad parent. She may simply need a close friend to lean on. This is perfectly healthy and normal. Listen, but don't talk. Sometimes a teen just wants to vent. Don't analyze the situation. Just sit there and hear what she has to say. It can be difficult to listen without trying to solve the problem. But be confident in your parenting skills. Ask questions instead of providing solutions. Your teen can and should think for himself. This not only helps him learn to trust you, but also teaches invaluable problem-solving skills. You can offer advice later. But when your teen is opening up, it is best to be minimal with your words and let her express her concerns. Discuss issues you faced as a teen. This is one of the most important things you can do for your child. While you may not think so, teens do listen to their parents. They may protest and say things like "It was different when you were a kid, Mom" or "You don't understand!" But trust me, they hear you. When difficult situations arise, they will think back to many of the things you have discussed over the years. Remember those days when your parents gave you advice? You may not have been too happy to hear it. But chances are, you have applied some or all of it over the years. Give your teen the chance to make her own decisions and learn from doing, just like you did. Keep a parent to child journal. A journal where you each write notes to each other can help bring you closer together. When your teen is frustrated, it may be easier to write things out on paper than tell you to your face. You can write back after reading each note written to you. That way, your teen can read the responses when she is more comfortable. The journal can be used both for fun and lighthearted discussions, as well as more serious ones. Some trust issues may be cause for deeper concern, such as bullying, mental health issues, and more. This article is for informational purposes only and is not meant to diagnose or treat any conditions. Always seek appropriately licensed health care specialists for advice specific to your child. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network Positive Parenting: Encouraging Educational Responsibility in Kids Many times successes and failures in school can be traced to educational responsibility. Is your child in charge of his success – or failure when it comes to learning? If you find yourself helping too much or taking the blame for his achievements (or lack thereof), you may not be giving your child enough educational responsibility. Provide access to a variety of study materials. When children have ready access to books and other educational materials, it's easier for them to become naturally in tune to learning. You don't have to spend large sums of money if you don't have it, but try to have things around that are helpful to their education. Manipulatives, educational videos, and hands-on science kits are great tools, in addition to books. Some libraries will loan out these items if you cannot afford to purchase them or would just prefer to be able to return them when finished. Never do their work for them. When your child is seemingly having a nervous breakdown, it's easy for some to just give the answers. Do not do this. Instead, give your child some time to calm down and encourage him to try again. You can help for explanation purposes. But allow the child to complete the work on his own. Educational responsibility is easier to come by when it is a natural habit in the household. Incorporate independent study. In addition to any homework, kids need to study things on their own as well. This could be additional information for what they are working on in required studies. But it may also be a free topic the child is interested in. Encourage your kids to learn new things, be it the history of a fad or more knowledge in required subjects. You may need to make the suggestion or first steps. But in time you will see your child start to automatically do this on his own. The desire for independent study is a good sign your child has some educational responsibility.
Allow room for mistakes. Remember that your child is not perfect. Remind him of this as well. Mistakes are okay. They give him a chance to learn and grow, and are a huge part of educational responsibility. When kids can recognize when they are wrong and need some extra work, this is a sign of responsibility. Let them discover those things within themselves. Encourage your child's interests. When your child has an interest in something, encourage him by providing study materials for that subject. Take him on field trips or play games related to the interest. If your child wants to be a fireman, take him to a firehouse. If she wants to be a doctor, take a hospital tour and buy medical books at her comprehension level. Whatever your child is interested in, encourage (without forcing) him to learn more about it. Let your child tell you what he learns and also what he already knows as well. Let them take responsibility for accomplishments and mistakes. When your child fails a test, do you blame yourself for not pushing him or do you point out to your child what he may have done to receive better results? The answer should be the latter, but many parents will take the blame for the mistakes of their kids, which can lead to them being irresponsible. Do not force learning or use education as a punishment. Never say to your child things like “If you don't clean your room, I'm going to make you do algebra!” This teaches the child education is a bad thing. She is not going to be responsible when it comes to learning if her thoughts about it are negative. Always make learning a positive experience and offer it freely, rather than forcing the child to participate. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network Tired of your kids not listening to you? Are you expecting too much of them? As a seasoned parent, I know how frustrating it can be when kids just don't want to listen. Perhaps you are treating them like property rather than team members. Kids are more likely to listen when they feel they are a part of something. Always remember your kids are team members, not property. Be the boss without being condescending. Just because you are in charge does not mean you should take advantage of this position. Yes, children should be taught to listen to their parents and respect their elders. But there is a big difference between expecting good behavior and demanding perfection. There is no need to make children feel scared or unworthy to get them to behave. In fact, doing so is likely to create the opposite effect you are looking for. Kids are people, not robots. They are living, breathing beings with their own thoughts and opinions. While it may not be what you'd like, children will speak their minds and should be allowed to. This doesn't mean they should run amok. But they also should have a say in some things. They are not robots who can just be ordered to do something and it's done. There is a learning and growing process and there will be bumps along the way. The goal of a parent is not to create a robot, but someone who knows how to make wise choices. Listen to your kid's choices. They might have a good point you didn't think of. Just because your child does not agree with you does not mean he is wrong. Listen to what he has to say. Perhaps he has a valid point. Speaking one's mind is not the same thing as misbehaving. It doesn't mean he wants to go against you. It just means he wants you to listen to his viewpoint. Be understanding, even if you don't choose their option every time. Whether your child's view is one you agree with or not, just listen. If you never hear him out, he will think you don't care what his thoughts are and he will have a valid point. Understand and respect your child's opinions. Being understanding does not always mean being in agreement. But it does mean considering more options than your original one. There are times you will need to form a compromise. Your goal is not to create your clone. It is to teach your child to be a productive member of society in their own unique way. A good parent/child relationship is one where both parties are working together as a team. Remember that your child is not property. You have responsibility to raise him, but ultimately each person is in charge of himself. Note: The author's positive parenting method has evolved into what she calls Upstream Parenting. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network
With the news of Amy Chua's Tiger Mother parenting spreading like wildfire, people are starting to look at the extremes of parenting from all sides. Because I subscribe to my own self-created positive parenting methods, I have been questioned by readers about discipline. Many have made assumptions that positive parenting methods do not offer discipline and that children are being catered to. I cannot speak for all parents. However, my positive parenting methods definitely involve discipline.
What is positive parenting? Positive parenting is a method in which guardians choose to guide children without force. It is about looking for ways to teach and parent children that stimulate positive reactions, behaviors, and lessons. In positive parenting, the goal is to teach children how to resolve issues, control emotions and behaviors, and relate to others in a way that brings about a positive result. What is discipline? Discipline is the act of teaching the consequences of actions. Discipline is necessary in showing children what happens when they do or don't do certain things throughout life. Children who receive zero discipline may fail to fully understand why certain behaviors and actions are inappropriate. Some misconceptions about positive parenting and discipline:
What is positive discipline? In positive parenting, the goal is not to avoid discipline, but to use it in a way that is productive in a good way. There is not one positive method that will work in every situation. In fact, for discipline to trigger a positive and productive response from children, it should be geared toward each unique situation. Also, remember that that each child has unique needs, depending on age, abilities, mental and social state, and more. You know your child best. When choosing discipline methods that will teach the lesson, as well as create a positive result, think of the situation itself, as well as what is most likely to work for your child. For instance, a timeout might work work well for one two year old. But drawing an apology picture or getting a privilege or toy taken away may work for another. Is there a such thing as negative discipline? Of course. Negative discipline is that which either harms the child or does not effectively teach the lesson. It can also be both. Some parents may find that spanking their children only makes them fearful in their presence and also teaches their children to hit others in order to solve a problem. If this is the case in your home, you have found a negative discipline method. Any method that causes another harm or creates more issues than it solves is a negative form of discipline. How can my family start using positive discipline? One of the easiest ways I have recommended to those new to positive parenting is to start a Parenting Mistake Journal. Take down all the issues in your home each day and what you did to solve the issues. Look over the issues and observe the kids to see whether your discipline techniques had a positive or negative impact. If the results from your actions turn out negative or the problem was not really resolved, try to think of a more positive way to turn things around. Do this daily until you get to a point where you no longer need a journal to figure things out. Note: The author's positive parenting method has evolved into what she calls Upstream Parenting. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network
My father was a huge disciplinarian and I thank my mom every day for having the sense to get away from him early on. Some of the scars from his mistreatment will probably stick with me my whole life. My mom's methods stick with me too -- in a positive way. While yelling, spanking, demanding and other forceful methods my dad used got me to obey at the time, they actually taught me nothing, other than that he was not a very nice person. My mom's more positive methods taught me too. They actually taught me important life lessons that stick with me today.
There are several things Chua never allowed her daughters to do. These included play dates, performing in a school play (and they could not complain about this), be less than No. 1 in every subject (except gym and drama), and refuse to play the violin and piano. These two instruments were a requirement, and long and rigorous practices happened every day, leaving the kids no time for play. In her book, she states this is the normal way children are raised in Eastern cultures. She believes Westerners have it all wrong. The fact the children were not allowed to make play dates -- and did not even have time for play, anyway -- is appalling. Children need to play. It helps develop important social and life skills. The American Academy of Pediatrics states that play is crucial to cognitive, physical, emotional, and social well-being. My child-rearing methods are a complete about-face of Chua's. I currently am raising my children in Colorado. They are also educated from home sometimes. So perhaps I fit the "Westerner" mentality she seems to loathe. I believe in gaining respect by giving it. I also believe children have the right to decide their own beliefs and interests. Through my self-developed positive parenting methods, my children are educated through nature, books and play and are taught to be independent thinkers. During music practice, Chua actually says to her daughter "Oh, my God, you're just getting worse and worse." How is she supposed to be encouraged to continue? If a child really feels she is just getting worse, she may also feel there is no point in going further. In line with my positive parenting techniques, I would suggest a parent instead find a way to make learning the proper notes easier. When my kids are struggling with a subject, I like to create games that draw their interest, as well as teach the skill they need to learn. For instance, I have used basketball to enhance study time, made math fun with music, and so much more. I find that children are more receptive to learning when it is presented as something fun, rather than as a chore. I also do not force it on them and because of the lack of pressure and the entertainment involved, my children thoroughly enjoy learning. There is a huge difference between encouraging educational responsibility in children and treating them like property. Note: The author's positive parenting method has evolved into what she calls Upstream Parenting. (This was originally published on Yahoo News via Yahoo Contributor Network) Positive Parenting Tips: Respecting Your Child's Own Beliefs
"Mom, I don't know how to tell you this, but I am an Atheist." If you're a Christian, this might be hard to hear from your child. If you believe a certain faith (or none), if your child's beliefs are not the same as yours, it may make you feel like a failure or may even upset you. But as parents, we must all love our children, regardless of whether their beliefs line up with our own. Here are some things to remember and ways to cope with this situation.
Your beliefs are not the only ones. While we all would like our children to follow the same belief system we hold, there are many other faiths and beliefs than the ones we each hold. Realize that they may choose to believe something that you don't necessarily agree with. This does not mean they don't respect you. It just means they may have a different thought process. Teach your child what you value without forcing it. It is perfectly normal to teach your children about what you believe in. However, it is not acceptable to force it on them. Remember that children have rights too. Just because they are smaller and an extension of you does not mean they are your robots. Allow them to think for themselves. They may agree with your values, but they also might not. Unless your child is in immediate danger, allow them freedom to make their own choices. Realize your child's beliefs may differ from yours. If your child's value system does not resemble yours, it is not a personal attack on you. Every person is different. Embrace your child's unique strengths and beliefs. It can be difficult to do this when it is a matter of values and religion. However, remember that your child will not be a child his whole life. He needs to learn to make decisions himself to succeed in the world. Listen to your child without judgment. Let her tell you where she is coming from and why. Don't explain why you feel she is wrong. Just be quiet and listen. She may have a point - or you may completely disagree. Either way, respect her individualism and let her express her thoughts to you. This lets her know that she matters to you and will help her feel comfortable in opening up to you. Discuss each other's beliefs openly without expectations. Once it has been established that your beliefs differ, have open discussions regularly. You can tell each other about your faiths without judgment or expectations. The goal in these discussions is not to convince each other one way or the other. Rather, it should be to understand the other's faith whether you agree with it or not. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network Positive Parenting Tips to Keep Small Children from Sneaking Food
"No, James! I told you to ask first," repeats a frustrated mom for what seems like the hundredth time that day. If this sounds like your house, you may want to try some positive parenting techniques to keep your little one from sneaking food. Many parents have been down this road before with at least one child. As a veteran mom with kids of varying ages, I've had plenty of experience in this area. The first part of solving the issue lies in discovering the root of the sneakiness. Some kids may have an eating disorder, so it's also important to talk to the pediatrician first. These extra positive parenting tips that worked for us may help as well, if approved by the child's doctor.
Is your child getting enough food and nutrition? As children grow, they tend to eat more than they usually would, especially if they are going through a growth spurt. Some kids will even eat more than some adults. Look for signs that tell you to adjust your child's portion size at meals. If your child tries to go back for seconds and thirds or tries to have snacks immediately after dinner, you may not be providing enough to begin with. Also, pay attention to what food he sneaks and report this to the doctor, in case there is a nutritional deficiency. There may be certain vitamins and minerals lacking from the diet that your child is trying to compensate for. Are there enough snacks in between meals? If your child is trying to hoard or steal food, that may simply be a signal that he needs snacks. Keep a schedule of the times your child most often tries to steal food. If it occurs at similar times, schedule a snack at that time. If it's random, your child's feeding schedule may be inconsistent. Try to feed your child his meals and snacks at the same time every day so that his body can better form a hunger pattern. The actual time does not matter as much as it matters that the schedule stays the same. Watch for hunger cues. If you learn how your child behaves when hungry, you can intercept before he tries to sneak food. Being proactive like this is a more positive parenting method than being reactive. If you catch your child before he even thinks of doing the act, this can lessen instances without having to reprimand. If the sneaking has become a bad habit, this method may be tiring at first, but it will be worth it to see your child's sneaky food behaviors improve. Should you lock the cupboards and refrigerator? While this can be an easier temporary solution for frustrated parents, it can only make some children want the food more. It also can make a hoarding problem worse because they will want to hide food for later if they know they cannot access it easily. As small children get older, they will be more curious about how to remove the locking mechanisms. A more positive parenting method is to teach them to ask for the food, rather than take it. This way, when they are old enough to figure out locks, they are mature enough to understand why they shouldn't just steal food all the time. Never refuse food, unless it's absolutely necessary. Most children will know when they are full and will not be asking for food. Unless your child has obviously had enough, never say no when he asks for food. Also, if he sneaks food, ask something like "Why didn't you just ask for that?" If you do this consistently, your child will eventually learn that sneaking food is not necessary. This more positive way of teaching the lesson helps avoid making your child feel bad about food. Never, ever make a child feel bad about food. Also, do not use food as a reward. There needs to be a fair balance for your child to have healthy food behaviors. Using positive parenting methods to revert your child's food focus can be extremely helpful. But just like any other method, consistency is key. Be proactive, not reactive. In time, you will likely see a big improvement in your child's behavior and thoughts toward food. Note: The author's positive parenting method has evolved into what she calls Upstream Parenting. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network Building a Toddler's Self-Confidence Without Over-Inflating It Toddlers don't have a care in the world, or at least it may seem that way to those of us who have bills and other big responsibilities. But just because your toddler does not have the same stress as you does not mean he or she isn't capable of feeling a little down. Building a toddler's self-esteem is all about patience, understanding and praise. But how do you build self-confidence without making your toddler think he or she is the best creation in the universe? As a veteran mother and former nanny, I've been down this road plenty of times.
Independence is key. This is always my No. 1 method of building self-confidence in toddlers. If they know they can do things for themselves, it helps them feel accomplished. As parents, it can be tempting to do everything for our kids. But remember that each task you do that they are capable of is keeping them from learning and growing. If you want to help, show them how to do it, and then just step back and let them do it. Toddlers can't very well be confident in their abilities if they aren't allowed freedom to practice them. Redirect instead of scolding, when possible. If toddlers do something wrong, it should be made known. But there is no reason to scold or make them feel bad about it. Simply redirect them to a more appropriate activity. Make sure they know why they are being restricted from a certain action or activity, and praise them for transitioning nicely. Like other methods, this only works if you are consistent. Be sure to redirect your toddler each time he or she takes that specific action. Not being allowed to do it is punishment enough. Scolding can destroy their self-esteem and make them feel worthless. By redirecting, you are teaching the lesson but allowing your toddler to remain confident in his or her abilities. Notice the good things and make it obvious. Don't just point out the bad behavior. When your toddler is behaving, let him or her know you are impressed. Building a toddler's self-esteem is essential, but you don't want to overdo it. Be careful not to do this for every single good behavior because this can lead to over-inflation of the ego. But pointing out the good things is important. Do it randomly, and make it genuine. Track goals with a simple chart. When toddlers can visually see something they have achieved, it can be great for the ego. Make a chart of some of the things they are expected to do each day, such as brushing their teeth, reading a book, picking up their toys, making their bed, and more. Use stickers or magnets to mark what has been done each day. When toddlers look at what they have accomplished, their self-esteem will likely rise. Allow them to make choices. Toddlers need to know they are trusted. This is an essential part of building self-esteem. When you're small, it seems like everyone can do things better than you can. Let your toddler make choices on a regular basis. These can be both big and small choices, but be sure they are things your toddler can handle. For instance, let your toddler choose his or her outfit in the morning. When shopping, give your toddler choices, even if that means his or her entire wardrobe turns out purple, like my daughter's. Building a toddler's self-esteem is all about choice and independence. The advice in this article was written by an experienced parent, not a licensed mental health professional. Consult an appropriately licensed health professional if your child shows signs of depression or other health issues. Navigating the bustling environment of a fast food restaurant with children can be challenging, but with the right strategies, it's entirely possible to ensure they behave appropriately. If you've ever encountered a child treating the restaurant like a playground, you're not alone. As a parent to several well-mannered children, I've seen my share of unruly behavior, yet I’ve managed to keep such incidents at bay with my kids. Here’s how you can do the same, ensuring a peaceful meal for everyone.
Understand the Environment Isn’t a Playground During a visit to a local Chipotle, my children and I observed the disruptive behavior of two young diners who seemed oblivious to the chaos they caused. Their relentless running and the potential dangers it presented—a possible slip from a spilled drink, or worse, choking—highlighted a lack of initial guidance from their caregiver. It’s crucial from the get-go to establish that the dining area is for eating, not for play. Settling children at their table promptly can teach them to associate the space with sitting and eating rather than running and playing. Consistency is Key in Messaging It’s disheartening to see children receive mixed signals from their guardians. In the same Chipotle, it took a considerable amount of time before the children were instructed to sit down, and when they were, the guidance was neither gentle nor consistent. Such inconsistency can confuse children about expected behaviors and boundaries. Clearly lay out expectations right from the start; let your children know that while they can be relaxed, the restaurant is not a place for rough play. Model Appropriate Behavior Children learn by example, and they are always watching and mimicking adult behavior. If a parent is engaged in loud conversations, constantly on their phone, or pacing around, children will likely emulate these actions. To foster good public conduct in your kids, lead by example. Show them how to be respectful and attentive in social settings. This not only teaches them how to behave but also ensures they respect the shared space of others. Keep Basic Needs in Check Another pivotal aspect of managing child behavior is addressing their fundamental needs. At Chipotle, the restless children had not been provided with food or drinks, which were only given out of kindness by the staff. A lack of nourishment can lead to irritable or hyperactive behavior. Always ensure your children are fed and have something to keep them engaged, such as coloring books, crayons, or quiet toys. Meeting these basic needs can significantly enhance their demeanor and reduce the likelihood of disruptive behavior. Implementing these simple yet effective strategies can make your dining experience enjoyable not just for you and your children, but for everyone around you. Remember, a fast food restaurant is a community space, and fostering a considerate and respectful environment starts with you and your children. So next time you're dining out, use these tips to ensure a peaceful and enjoyable meal. LAST UPDATED 5/6/2024 *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network Disciplining Without Yelling: Important for All Children
Many parents resort to yelling or shouting when their children do not listen. However, this may be damaging to your child in many ways. It can even affect the way your child behaves in school and what he thinks of himself. As a mother to many (with experience in nannying and babysitting), I have researched this topic extensively over the years.
Are You Healing or Hurting Your Child? Parental actions can either be the cause of a child's negative reactions or the cause of their healing process. It is up to the parent to decide which is better for their child. Obviously, most would choose the latter. What Are Some of The Negative Effects of Yelling? Multiple studies have shown that yelling can cause many negative effects for children. Some of those effects are feelings of fear, feeling insecure, feeling unworthy, low self-esteem, misbehavior in school or other public places, disruptive behavior, immunity to any type of discipline that involves yelling or speaking loudly, and many more. Is Your Child Worth The Struggle Not to Yell? Children are a difficult crowd to please at times, especially those with behavioral issues or those used to getting their own way. But, it can be much easier if you are willing to go through a small period of struggle first. What have you got to lose? You are likely already struggling, so a short-lived struggle is much better than an everyday one. First Steps in Ending Yelling As a Form of Discipline The first thing you need to do is make the conscious decision that you will no longer yell or shout at your child. There is a difference between speaking with a firm tone and yelling or shouting. When you speak with a firm tone, you are simply flattening your voice and you have a serious look on your face. You will be just a touch louder than normal, but you will not be close to yelling. If you are downstairs and someone upstairs can hear you, you are too loud and you are yelling. Organizing Your "No-Yelling" Plan Once you have made the decision not to yell anymore, you need a plan. Write down all the possible misbehaviors that you think your child might partake in. It doesn't have to be too specific. For example, taking a Barbie from a sibling and taking a book from a sibling is essentially the same thing, so that category could be "Using Other People's Property Without Permission". Organize the list and be sure that you don't have items that could be contained into the same category. After you have that list, rewrite it neatly on a separate piece of paper, leaving a few lines blank after each category. In those blank lines, write down what type of discipline could be used for each item. Some types of discipline will be repeated. Putting The No-Yelling Discipline Plan Into Action Think of a creative way to organize your list and frame it. Place it in an area that will be easy to access for the whole family. Whenever a child misbehaves, take him or her to the list and show him or her what the appropriate punishment is. Follow through every time. This means every time your child repeats an action that is not acceptable, take that child to chart and each time follow through with the corresponding punishment. The adjustment may be hard at first, but over time, it will get easier for you as well as for your child. Note: The author's positive parenting method has evolved into what she calls Upstream Parenting. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network Does your teen need a boost of self-worth? Even if you answered no, it's always good to immerse teens in activities that help raise their self-confidence levels. The teenage years can be difficult to get through. But a healthy dose of self-esteem can play a vital role in helping them get through all the ups and downs of hormones and life itself. Self esteem isn't always something that comes naturally for everyone and even when it does, it's still great to nurture it. By consistently taking advantage of naturally occurring events and activities, your teens' self-esteem can shine.
Teach your teen a new dance or let them show you. Learning and conquering a new skill is a great confidence booster. You may think your teen is embarrassed to dance with you. But the truth is, most teens look up to their parents and want to please them. Showing you the dance techniques can be mastered is a simple and fun way for your teen to feel accomplished. Practice this often for optimal results. Dancing isn't really my thing. But one of my teens loves it. So I frequently watch her perform all the great new moves she learns and invents. Since I am not much of a dancer, I don't usually dance along. But she knows myself and the entire family love watching her perform. Let your teen help with a meaningful task. Trusting your teen with something that you normally do can be good for enhancing self worth. It's a great feeling knowing someone trusts you with an important task. Think about how you would feel if your boss put you in charge of something normally done by a person in a higher position than you. That's exactly how your teen will feel. It might be a little overwhelming at first. But imagine how great your teen will feel when the task is accomplished. Give your teen more responsibility and make trust obvious. Teens need preparation for when they become adults. This is the perfect age to give them more responsibility. Teach them about employment and how to apply for jobs. Summer and after-school positions are great for this stage. Even if your family does not need the extra money, this can be an important life lesson. Other responsibilities may include work around the house, grocery shopping, helping figure out the family budget, and other household responsibilities. Self worth often comes from successfully performing both simple and complex tasks. Compliment your teen when it's warranted. If you notice that your teen has a cute outfit on or a nice hairstyle, don't be afraid to say so. You may think it sounds cheesy. But truthful compliments can help your teen feel good about self image. Pay attention to not only your teen's appearance but also any completed tasks. Whenever any of my kids does something nice without me asking, I make sure I thank them and let them know how much it means to me. Be sure not to to overdo it or your compliments won't be taken seriously. Always be genuine and honest with your words. Let your teen work or volunteer. Serving others is an excellent way to help your teen feel good inside. There is no other feeling like the one found inside when giving to others. Aside from that, each goal or task your teen completes will help give a sense of accomplishment. My teen daughter is looking forward to the day when she can become an official volunteer at a local shelter. Until then, we spend a great deal of our own time visiting the animals and giving them affection. The kids feel so great knowing they have touched the lives of so many animals. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network
by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff
Is your baby in need of some discipline? If your baby is crying frequently and it's been determined that it isn't a medical issue, you might need these easy discipline tricks for babies. As an experienced mother and former nanny, I have cared for many babies. Disciplining babies is not as difficult as it may seem. With babies, discipline is more about consistency and routine. Babies are not actually misbehaving when whining or crying. That is the way they know how to communicate. Easy discipline tricks for babies should be gentle and offer love, consistency, and guidance.
Love is a Simple, Effective Discipline Trick A happy baby is generally a well-behaved baby, in my experience. What makes babies happier than love? I'm not talking just hugs and kisses either, but those are good too. Love also involves taking care of all of baby's basic needs such as feeding, burping, diapering, clothing, playing, and soothing. Keeping baby happy with basic care, love, and entertainment may be all that is required for some babies. Routine as Discipline is Easy Forming a routine schedule for feedings, naps, playtime, and bedtime is one of the most simple discipline tricks for babies. If the schedule is followed consistently, most babies automatically become accustomed to it. Therefore, this can help avoid instances where the baby wants to get up and play at one or two in the morning. The baby who does this is not misbehaving because during the baby stage it is up to the parent to establish a routine. Changing the routine even once can form unwanted habits. Parental Limits Make for Easy Discipline As a parent, I fully understand wanting to do so many things for your baby. However, we must set limits. Do not give in to every single demand. Of course babies need to have basic needs met and also need to have some fun. However, it can hinder them later if you always give them every single thing they want. For some parents, this may not belong under easy discipline tricks for babies because it can be difficult at times not to give in. But trust me, it will pay off as they become toddlers and start moving into the "Terrible Two's" stage. Toy Purposing Simplifies Discipline Toy purposing is another of my favorite easy discipline tricks for babies. Keep different toys in different areas and for different purposes. Many times when babies get cranky, they actually are just bored. Pulling out different toys can help solve that issue. Have a special set of toys for doctor visits, another for car rides, one for park outings, etc. This way, babies don't bore with the toys as easily. Plus, when they get cranky, it can seem like you are giving them a new toy. If they don't see the same toys all the time, the toys can be a welcome distraction. Positive Redirection Makes Disciplining Babies Easy Some babies can be a little feistier and may need to be gently redirected into a different activity or situation. If a baby is getting frustrated over something, simply remove them from the situation. If two babies are fighting over a toy, remove both babies and give them each a different toy. If a baby is getting frustrated at trying to reach a mobile toy, place the baby away from the mobile for a while. Positive redirection is simply a way to let the baby know that the behavior is not acceptable without even having to say so. You are showing this to the baby with the easy discipline trick of removing the situation. Note: The author's positive parenting method has evolved into what she calls Upstream Parenting. Your child is special and unique and should be taught accordingly. We all face the struggle of trying to get our children to memorize their facts and do their homework. We spend so much time searching for a better answer. I like the method of using a child's interests to enhance learning. While I can't guarantee you that my answer is the only answer, I can guarantee you that it's at least worth a try. Your child will definitely have fun and probably learn some things along the way.
So, what is this secret method? Well, it may not be a secret, but sometimes we don't think about it. What I suggest doing is keying in on your child's interests to form your lesson plans. This can work for homeschool or just plain studying. First, you should make a list of the top ten things your child enjoys the most. Next, using this list, think of ways you can use these interests to help your child learn. Here's an example of a miniature plan for a child named Johnny. Find your child's key interests and use them to teach him lessons. Johnny enjoys swimming, playing basketball, video games, visiting the park, climbing trees, and many other outdoor activities. Johnny is struggling in multiplication and division. He also hates to read. His mom decides to take him to the park and play a game of basketball with him. During basketball, she asks him "If I can make 3 baskets in 5 minutes, how many baskets can I make in fifteen minutes?" Well, Johnny is confused, so his mom says, "All you have to do is see how many 5s it takes to make fifteen by skip counting first." Johnny's answer is 3, so his mom then says "So, if I make 3 baskets 3 times, what does that give me. You can count by 3s." When Johnny answers "9", his mother is very happy. Keep up the rhythm to enhance learning skills. In Johnny's case, his mom continues to play games like this with him, being sure to show him visually what she is talking about. For reading, Johnny's mom purchases a few different computer games that enhance reading and comprehension games because Johnny likes video games. Since he likes games with action, she makes sure that all the games have plenty of that. The video games are played at least 3 times per week. She also makes sure that Johnny has fun practice for both subjects every day. Sometimes the games she makes up are the same and sometimes they're not. Keep it fun and consistent. As you can see, Johnny's mom has begun to draw on her son's interests to get him more interested in learning. It's just as simple for you to do the same. Your games can be simple or complex. Gear the complexity around you and your child. Don't make learning seem like a chore. Make it fun and your child will view it as such. During homework time, play little games with the homework problems. Just be creative at all times, always drawing on your child's interests. When your child starts to get excited wondering what you will do each day, instead of groaning about the homework, that's when you know you've made a real difference. |
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