Funniest Toddler Quotes I've Heard

by Lyn Lomasi; Owner of Intent-sive Nature & Brand Shamans Content Community

Image © Lyn Lomasi; All Rights Reserved

"Mommy can you wash my water?" That has to be one of the funniest things any of my kids ever said to me as a toddler. She was about three. Wash water? Isn't water already clean? What's the funniest thing your toddler ever said to you? Here are some of the funniest toddler quotes in my family.

Washing Water?

So, what was washing the water all about? She wanted me to dump out the water and make it even colder. With seven kids, and also the fact that I am a former nanny, I have heard plenty of interesting things from toddlers.

Swing Fears

Another that sticks to me is the time my then 4 year old son was sitting on a playground swing. He's now a teenager. At the time, his fear of the swing moving with him in it was still present. He knows my profession and knew I had the laptop at the park. I go to push him and he says "Don't push me, Ma! You really need to write that article!"

Horse or Dog?

Then, there's the first time my oldest daughter (then a year and a half, now an adult) met a horse. It was the Juneteenth parade in Denver and the policemen were there with their Clydesdales. They were welcoming petting. So, toddler in arms, I pet one horse's beautiful mane. I tried to get her to do the same. She looked at me crazy, looked the horse up and down, and looked back at me exclaiming "Uh, uh Mommy! That's a BIG doggie!"

Dockies?

This next one is more of a funny name for something. For some reason, my second oldest had these favorite shoes when she was 4 years old that she liked to call her "dockies". None of us ever figured out why she called them that.

Open Kitchen

I recently hung a curtain over the archway that connects the kitchen and living room. I then tied the curtains back so that the space stayed open. My 4 year old then says to me "Mommy, you put that there because the kitchen cooking is open." Apparently, she looks at the kitchen as a restaurant.

Leave your funny toddler quotes in the comments section below.

Last updated 2/19/2022