In the enchanting world of lullabies, where melodies are meant to soothe and cradle the innocent slumber of our little ones, there exists a shadowy corner. Here dwell the eerie and heart-wrenching tunes that have been passed down through generations. These are the lullabies that defy the conventional, daring to venture into the realm of the tragic, the horrific, and the profoundly sad.
In this exploration of "Tragic Kids Lullabies," we will journey through the mysterious and enchanting world of these haunting melodies. We'll uncover the stories behind two iconic lullabies, "Ani Couni" from the Arapaho Natives and the infamous "Rock-A-Bye Baby." Additionally, we'll introduce you to three more dark lullabies that have woven tales of sorrow and resilience. Along the way, we'll offer valuable insights and tips on how to use these haunting tunes to teach resilience and empower our children to navigate life's challenges with courage and grace. Ani Couni: The Haunting Whisper of the Arapaho Natives Allow the mesmerizing notes of "Ani Couni" to transport you to the vast landscapes of the Arapaho Natives, where this haunting lullaby was born. "Ani Couni" is a powerful, ancient lullaby that carries the weight of history in its mournful melody. The Arapaho people, native to the plains of North America, used this lullaby to teach their children about resilience and the harsh realities of life. Its lyrics speak of a child lost in the wilderness, facing danger, starvation, thirst, and darkness, yet finding the strength to survive. Embrace "Ani Couni" as a tool to teach your child about courage and resourcefulness. Play it during bedtime, and as your child drifts into slumber, share stories of bravery and survival to inspire their dreams. Start playing "Ani Couni" tonight and encourage your child to face their fears, just like the brave Arapaho children did. Rock-A-Bye Baby: The Ominous Lullaby of Cradle's Edge You've surely heard the familiar strains of "Rock-A-Bye Baby," but do you know its dark origins? This well-known lullaby has a chilling history. Its lyrics describe a baby cradled in a treetop, at the mercy of the wind and the bough's inevitable fall. The true story behind this lullaby is one of survival, as mothers sang it to remind their children of life's precarious nature. Embrace the darkness of "Rock-A-Bye Baby" to instill in your child the importance of resilience and adaptability. Use this lullaby as an opportunity to discuss life's uncertainties and how to navigate them. Tonight, when you tuck your child in, sing "Rock-A-Bye Baby" with a gentle yet firm tone. As you do, tell them stories of overcoming adversity, encouraging them to face life's challenges with determination. Three More Haunting Lullabies for Brave Hearts1. "Hush Now, My Darling" The tender yet haunting melody of "Hush Now, My Darling" will beckon you into a world of bittersweet lullabies. This lullaby's poignant lyrics narrate the tale of a lost soul seeking solace in the night's embrace. The melody's melancholic notes offer a gentle reminder that even in darkness, there's beauty to be found. Use "Hush Now, My Darling" to teach your child about finding comfort in difficult times. Discuss the significance of seeking beauty in unexpected places. Incorporate "Hush Now, My Darling" into your nightly routine, creating an atmosphere of solace and reflection. 2. "Moonlit Lament" Let the haunting strains of "Moonlit Lament" draw you into a world of moonlit mysteries. This lullaby's haunting melody weaves a tale of a moon that listens to the woes of the world. Its lyrics speak of whispered secrets and hidden fears, reminding us that even celestial bodies can empathize with our struggles. Use "Moonlit Lament" to encourage your child to share their thoughts and fears. Discuss the power of expression and the support that can come from unexpected sources. Sing "Moonlit Lament" under the night sky, fostering a sense of connection between your child and the world around them. 3. "Echoes of Dreams" The ethereal notes of "Echoes of Dreams" beckon you to explore the enigmatic realm of dreams. This lullaby's enchanting melody captures the essence of dreams, from whimsical fantasies to poignant reflections. Its lyrics evoke a sense of longing and introspection, reminding us that dreams hold a mirror to our innermost desires. Use "Echoes of Dreams" to spark conversations about aspirations and self-discovery. Encourage your child to ponder their own dreams and goals. Make "Echoes of Dreams" a part of your bedtime routine, creating a space for your child to explore their thoughts and ambitions. Harnessing the Power of Tragic Kids Lullabies Now that we've explored the haunting stories behind "Ani Couni," "Rock-A-Bye Baby," "Hush Now, My Darling," "Moonlit Lament," and "Echoes of Dreams," let's dive into how you can use these lullabies to empower your child: 1. Create a Ritual Establish a bedtime ritual that includes these lullabies. Consistency and routine can bring a sense of security to children, helping them better manage change and uncertainty. 2. Storytelling Accompany the lullabies with stories of bravery and survival. Share tales of real-life heroes and heroines who have overcome adversity, reinforcing the message of resilience. 3. Encourage Questions Create an environment where your child feels comfortable asking questions. Use the lullabies as conversation starters to discuss their fears and concerns, helping them build emotional intelligence. 4. Empower with Words Teach your child the meaning of the lyrics. Explain the metaphorical elements in a way they can understand. This will empower them with a deeper understanding of life's complexities. 5. Dream Exploration Encourage your child to share their dreams in the morning. Discuss how the lullabies may have influenced their dreams and use this as a platform for open dialogue. Conclusion: Embrace the Darkness for a Brighter Future In the world of lullabies, where sweet dreams are the norm, we've ventured into the depths of tragic kids lullabies. These haunting melodies, "Ani Couni" and "Rock-A-Bye Baby," have the power to teach our children valuable lessons about resilience, adaptability, and the unpredictable nature of life. As parents, it's our duty to equip our children with the tools they need to face the world's challenges boldly. By introducing these lullabies into their bedtime routine and weaving in stories of triumph over adversity, we not only prepare them for life's uncertainties but also nurture their capacity for courage. Take action today. Embrace the darkness of tragic lullabies and illuminate the path to a brighter, more empowered future for your child. Together, let's cradle their dreams in the arms of resilience. Don't wait. Sing the haunting tunes tonight and watch as your child blossoms into a confident and courageous individual, unafraid of the world's uncertainties. Their future is in your hands, and with the power of tragic kids lullabies, it's a future filled with strength and resilience.
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FLOW-Key Parenting: The New, Improved Practical Parenting Book And Instruction Guide From Lyn Lomasi3/21/2023 Some of you reading this may have seen my parenting content around the web or even heard of some of my prior books and guides. It's been quite some time since I've released an update for my most popular parenting book and guide. So I decided to give it a whole new makeover! Welcome to my new and improved practical parenting guide with its new name, "FLOW-Key Parenting."
The FLOW-Key Parenting method will help you learn how to connect with your children, teach them respect and discipline, raise them to be independent thinkers, and help you guide them to succeed on their self-chosen path. FLOW-Key Parenting is a proven child and growth-focused method that has been put to use with all seven of my children, as well as with countless kids I've nannied over the years. Find helpful tips for specific situations, reflective thoughts for all situations, fun activities to help your child grow, great activities to connect with your child, and more! Not only that, but learn how to put them into action easily and right away! With this extensive eBook, you can help your child connect with you and the world around them in their own unique way, as well as learn to communicate with and respect all people in a positive and productive manner. How Did I Get Started? If you're reading this post, you may have seen or read my prior book, Upstream Parenting, which was the extended version of my even older parenting book. I've been around a while, with my oldest child turning 26 this year and my youngest turning 4. I started writing parenting tips many years ago from a small blog, then continued on many venues (Yahoo! being the one most know me for), and also my own sites. I am featured all over the web and in print with large and small publications. Over the years, my method really developed and evolved into its own thing, set apart from what people typically think of as positive parenting. It was then that I decided to coin my previous positive parenting method "Upstream Parenting". Life got a bit crazy and I hadn't updated it in a while. So I picked it back up recently and decided it needed a whole new name since I changed, removed, and added several things. There you have the birth of FLOW-Key Parenting. Browse this blog for an idea of what to expect in the book. Expect some extras you won't find here too!
Morning sickness is often one of the first signs of pregnancy. My personal experience and research will help you learn what's normal and when to call your doctor. Five of the six times I was pregnant, I had awful morning sickness, so I learned quite a bit about it. Some of that knowledge came from doctors, some from trial and error, and some from research. What Are The Symptoms Of Morning Sickness?
How Often Is Normal? If you've been feeling under the weather a lot, you may be wondering if it's too much. Is this normal? All women experience bouts of morning sickness in different ways. Some may only feel slightly ill at certain times of the day and some may have symptoms constantly. Any amount of time is "normal", but it's important to see your doctor if the nausea or vomiting is severe. How Do I Know If My Morning Sickness Is Too Bad? Only your doctor can tell you for sure if your morning sickness is worrisome. If you don't feel right or your symptoms seem too bad, let your OB or midwife know as soon as possible so they can advise you. Some women can experience an extreme form of morning sickness that can lead to hospitilization. This is called Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Do I Have Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG)? Most pregnant women experience some form of morning sickness, but only a small percentage will experience HG. Here's how to tell if you have HG.
Why Am I Hungry And Nauseous At The Same Time?
This is normal during pregnancy. You might feel nauseous but feel hungry or have a craving at the same time. Sometimes, eating a small amount of food or drinking some water during the nausea can help make it go away. The nausea might be caused by hunger or thirst, but not always. Also, sometimes people can feel hungry when they are actually thirsty. The pangs for both are very similar. When Will Morning Sickness End? For many pregnant women, morning sickness starts to slow or stop at or around 12 weeks gestation. Lasting longer can indicate HG, but not always. If this is the only symptom you have for HG, it's probably not a concern. But only your doctor can tell you for sure. When Should I Consult My Doctor? Consult your OB or midwife if you have any of the symptoms for HG or you are concerned for other reasons. Even just a feeling is enough reason to ask your doctor to check things out. Having given birth to six kids, with more than one being a high risk pregnancy, I know full well that you can never be too cautious. Your OB or midwife will likely tell you what I would: better to ask about "too many" questions or concerns than not enough. "But if we move, how can I see my friends?" "That's a really long way away from Granny's house. When do I get to see her?" These are some of the questions kids may ask when moving. They will likely be dealing with many difficult transitions. As a parent who has dealt with this type of scenario more than once, here are some of my best positive parenting methods for helping kids transition during a move.
Be quiet and listen. Before explaining a multitude of things about your move, listen to how your child is feeling. Take him for a walk or relax in the backyard and just let him say what he feels. Sometimes just letting everything out, knowing someone hears you, is helpful. This also gives you some insight into what is needed to help him feel better. It's easier for kids to transition when they know they are heard and that their concerns matter. Find solutions for keeping in touch with friends and relatives. If you're only moving across town, it should still be relatively easy to keep up with friends and relatives that once lived nearby. But if your child will need to leave them in another state or country, alternative solutions will be needed. Email, Facebook, a cell phone, or messenger apps are just some of the ways to keep in touch. Be creative and figure out what works for your child, depending on age and preferences. It's easier to transition to a move when familiar people aren't out of reach. Be sure the child knows the reasons for moving. Even if they don't express it, children might feel like a move is their fault. This can especially be true if the move is due to divorce or similar situations. Make the transition more smooth by explaining to your children the reasons for the move. Make sure they know that the move is not their fault. Remain positive about the move. Regardless of the reason for moving, keep it positive. Represent the good aspects of moving to your child. It's alright to discuss some of the things the family doesn't like about moving. But don't forget to also talk about the good things. Are you closer to a nice, new school? Closer to family? Maybe there is an area attraction the kids would enjoy. It's easier to transition when the good things about it are made obvious. Be understanding. Sometimes no matter what you say or do, a child is going to be unhappy about the move, at least at first. Lend an ear and an open mind and heart. Even if it isn't possible to go back to the way things were before, your child needs to know that you understand his feelings. You can tell him your concerns as well and how you are dealing with them. You can also just be a shoulder and source of comfort. In time, your child will very likely transition to the move and before you know it, he'll have new friends to hang out with. The important thing is that you be there for him until he does. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network Positive Parenting Tips: How to Show Kids They Matter
For whatever reason, kids can often feel as though they are the odd one out - that no one understands them. You know full well that your kids matter. Show them just how much with some positive parenting. Most parents do care and want their kids to know that, but some just aren't sure how to put feelings into action.
Give them choices. Although you may want everything to go a certain way, kids should be a part of family decisions, too. Sometimes - maybe many times - not everyone is going to agree on things. Let the kids decide what to do whenever possible. This shows them their thoughts matter to you. When kids know they matter, they may be more inclined to respect your wishes for decisions you must make. Respect their opinions. Even when their opinions differ from yours - and they will sometimes - respect what your kids think. Things don't always have to go their way. But let them be individuals. Sooner or later your child is going to grow up. He needs to know his voice matters to be respected in the world outside your home. Even inside the home, your child's opinions and insight should count. Give them freedom. There are limits to this for safety reasons, of course. But give your kids some freedom. They don't need to be right next to you at every moment. Trust them to do age-appropriate tasks without your assistance. It can be a parental instinct to be a mother hen or a father lion. That's part of being a parent, but if we don't let them do some things for themselves, they will never learn. Let them teach you about their favorite things. You may be old and wise, but kids have so much to teach us adults. Listen. Let your child know that her interests are important to you. Sometimes what kids are interested in don't line up with those of their parents. Still, you need to be supportive of your child's individuality. Don't try to force your interests on him and don't attempt to keep him from his unless they are harmful in nature. Show affection even when they misbehave. Even when kids misbehave, they still deserve your love. Discipline must take place. But that doesn't mean a hug isn't in order. In fact, that may be exactly what the doctor has ordered. Show your child his feelings matter to you by still showing affection, even in difficult times. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network Positive Parenting Tips: Keeping Kids Motivated Positive parenting is about looking for results that have a lasting positive effect on your child. Keeping a child motivated can sometimes be difficult. This is especially true when they start seeing evidence that not all things will work out as planned. As a parent, your job is to keep them motivated and inspired to do good things even when the outlook doesn't seem to match what they want.
Keep a goal chart. Make a goal chart so that kids can keep track of their goals, dreams, and accomplishments. These can be a good mix between small and large goals. Blending them together helps kids see that some things can be accomplished quickly and easily, while others may take more time and effort. If you only track large goals, that could discourage some kids when they see how long it's taking. On the flip side, if you only track smaller, simple goals, they may think everything in life is easy, which could backfire when there are certain things they cannot have or do right away. Cheer them on. When watching your kids achieve goals, milestones, and achievements, don't forget to cheer them on. This is true with the items on the chart and just everyday achievements. It can be easy to just shirk off the simple things after a child tells you about the same or similar things every day. But, if your child is excited about something, big or small, cheer her on anyway. Don't dwell on failures. It's only natural that your child will not succeed at everything. Don't focus on these things. It's alright to offer encouragement for your child to try again. But don't focus overly on the negative aspects of failure. Instead, find the positive things that occurred in the process of trying to obtain goals. Let them know they motivate you. Most parents get inspired by their kids often. But how often do we let them know how they make us feel? We might tell them we love them. But when your kids inspire you to do something, do you tell them you are doing it because of them? Doing so lets them know they have the ability to do great things. Foster what excites them. Does your child get especially excited over something in particular? Harbor that interest. If it's dance, get him in dance classes and offer gentle - not pushy - encouragement and guidance. If it's medicine, take her to medical museums, buy books, and register her for age-appropriate classes. Fostering and encouraging their natural interests, without pushing them or expecting too much, helps children develop self-confidence. This motivates them to be the best they can be as individuals. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network Positive Parenting: Why Doesn't My Teen Trust Me? As a veteran parent, I often get asked questions about raising children. Teenage years seem to be the toughest for many parents. This is in part due to the fact that kids start becoming independent. One question people ask often is "Why doesn't my teen trust me?" Is the parent at fault when teenagers don't trust them? Is there a deeper reason or is this just a part of the transition into adulthood?
Does your teen have reason not to trust you? Take a look at how you interact with your teen. Do you break promises to him? Do you do more talking than listening? Perhaps your teen is afraid you will want him to do things just like you and his beliefs differ from yours. Examine your relationship to see what you can do to build upon trust. It is not always the parent's fault when this happens. There also may be a simpler explanation. But don't automatically assume the problem can't lie with you. Your teen may simply be looking for a friend, not a parent. Let her trust in her friends rather than you when she needs to. It is not necessary for her to tell you everything about her life. While it is hard to realize that our children are growing up, we need to give them their own space. Just because she isn't trusting in you, does not mean you are a bad parent. She may simply need a close friend to lean on. This is perfectly healthy and normal. Listen, but don't talk. Sometimes a teen just wants to vent. Don't analyze the situation. Just sit there and hear what she has to say. It can be difficult to listen without trying to solve the problem. But be confident in your parenting skills. Ask questions instead of providing solutions. Your teen can and should think for himself. This not only helps him learn to trust you, but also teaches invaluable problem-solving skills. You can offer advice later. But when your teen is opening up, it is best to be minimal with your words and let her express her concerns. Discuss issues you faced as a teen. This is one of the most important things you can do for your child. While you may not think so, teens do listen to their parents. They may protest and say things like "It was different when you were a kid, Mom" or "You don't understand!" But trust me, they hear you. When difficult situations arise, they will think back to many of the things you have discussed over the years. Remember those days when your parents gave you advice? You may not have been too happy to hear it. But chances are, you have applied some or all of it over the years. Give your teen the chance to make her own decisions and learn from doing, just like you did. Keep a parent to child journal. A journal where you each write notes to each other can help bring you closer together. When your teen is frustrated, it may be easier to write things out on paper than tell you to your face. You can write back after reading each note written to you. That way, your teen can read the responses when she is more comfortable. The journal can be used both for fun and lighthearted discussions, as well as more serious ones. Some trust issues may be cause for deeper concern, such as bullying, mental health issues, and more. This article is for informational purposes only and is not meant to diagnose or treat any conditions. Always seek appropriately licensed health care specialists for advice specific to your child. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network Positive Parenting: Encouraging Educational Responsibility in Kids Many times successes and failures in school can be traced to educational responsibility. Is your child in charge of his success – or failure when it comes to learning? If you find yourself helping too much or taking the blame for his achievements (or lack thereof), you may not be giving your child enough educational responsibility. Provide access to a variety of study materials. When children have ready access to books and other educational materials, it's easier for them to become naturally in tune to learning. You don't have to spend large sums of money if you don't have it, but try to have things around that are helpful to their education. Manipulatives, educational videos, and hands-on science kits are great tools, in addition to books. Some libraries will loan out these items if you cannot afford to purchase them or would just prefer to be able to return them when finished. Never do their work for them. When your child is seemingly having a nervous breakdown, it's easy for some to just give the answers. Do not do this. Instead, give your child some time to calm down and encourage him to try again. You can help for explanation purposes. But allow the child to complete the work on his own. Educational responsibility is easier to come by when it is a natural habit in the household. Incorporate independent study. In addition to any homework, kids need to study things on their own as well. This could be additional information for what they are working on in required studies. But it may also be a free topic the child is interested in. Encourage your kids to learn new things, be it the history of a fad or more knowledge in required subjects. You may need to make the suggestion or first steps. But in time you will see your child start to automatically do this on his own. The desire for independent study is a good sign your child has some educational responsibility.
Allow room for mistakes. Remember that your child is not perfect. Remind him of this as well. Mistakes are okay. They give him a chance to learn and grow, and are a huge part of educational responsibility. When kids can recognize when they are wrong and need some extra work, this is a sign of responsibility. Let them discover those things within themselves. Encourage your child's interests. When your child has an interest in something, encourage him by providing study materials for that subject. Take him on field trips or play games related to the interest. If your child wants to be a fireman, take him to a firehouse. If she wants to be a doctor, take a hospital tour and buy medical books at her comprehension level. Whatever your child is interested in, encourage (without forcing) him to learn more about it. Let your child tell you what he learns and also what he already knows as well. Let them take responsibility for accomplishments and mistakes. When your child fails a test, do you blame yourself for not pushing him or do you point out to your child what he may have done to receive better results? The answer should be the latter, but many parents will take the blame for the mistakes of their kids, which can lead to them being irresponsible. Do not force learning or use education as a punishment. Never say to your child things like “If you don't clean your room, I'm going to make you do algebra!” This teaches the child education is a bad thing. She is not going to be responsible when it comes to learning if her thoughts about it are negative. Always make learning a positive experience and offer it freely, rather than forcing the child to participate. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network Tired of your kids not listening to you? Are you expecting too much of them? As a seasoned parent, I know how frustrating it can be when kids just don't want to listen. Perhaps you are treating them like property rather than team members. Kids are more likely to listen when they feel they are a part of something. Always remember your kids are team members, not property. Be the boss without being condescending. Just because you are in charge does not mean you should take advantage of this position. Yes, children should be taught to listen to their parents and respect their elders. But there is a big difference between expecting good behavior and demanding perfection. There is no need to make children feel scared or unworthy to get them to behave. In fact, doing so is likely to create the opposite effect you are looking for. Kids are people, not robots. They are living, breathing beings with their own thoughts and opinions. While it may not be what you'd like, children will speak their minds and should be allowed to. This doesn't mean they should run amok. But they also should have a say in some things. They are not robots who can just be ordered to do something and it's done. There is a learning and growing process and there will be bumps along the way. The goal of a parent is not to create a robot, but someone who knows how to make wise choices. Listen to your kid's choices. They might have a good point you didn't think of. Just because your child does not agree with you does not mean he is wrong. Listen to what he has to say. Perhaps he has a valid point. Speaking one's mind is not the same thing as misbehaving. It doesn't mean he wants to go against you. It just means he wants you to listen to his viewpoint. Be understanding, even if you don't choose their option every time. Whether your child's view is one you agree with or not, just listen. If you never hear him out, he will think you don't care what his thoughts are and he will have a valid point. Understand and respect your child's opinions. Being understanding does not always mean being in agreement. But it does mean considering more options than your original one. There are times you will need to form a compromise. Your goal is not to create your clone. It is to teach your child to be a productive member of society in their own unique way. A good parent/child relationship is one where both parties are working together as a team. Remember that your child is not property. You have responsibility to raise him, but ultimately each person is in charge of himself. Note: The author's positive parenting method has evolved into what she calls Upstream Parenting. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network Positive Parenting Tips: Respecting Your Child's Own Beliefs
"Mom, I don't know how to tell you this, but I am an Atheist." If you're a Christian, this might be hard to hear from your child. If you believe a certain faith (or none), if your child's beliefs are not the same as yours, it may make you feel like a failure or may even upset you. But as parents, we must all love our children, regardless of whether their beliefs line up with our own. Here are some things to remember and ways to cope with this situation.
Your beliefs are not the only ones. While we all would like our children to follow the same belief system we hold, there are many other faiths and beliefs than the ones we each hold. Realize that they may choose to believe something that you don't necessarily agree with. This does not mean they don't respect you. It just means they may have a different thought process. Teach your child what you value without forcing it. It is perfectly normal to teach your children about what you believe in. However, it is not acceptable to force it on them. Remember that children have rights too. Just because they are smaller and an extension of you does not mean they are your robots. Allow them to think for themselves. They may agree with your values, but they also might not. Unless your child is in immediate danger, allow them freedom to make their own choices. Realize your child's beliefs may differ from yours. If your child's value system does not resemble yours, it is not a personal attack on you. Every person is different. Embrace your child's unique strengths and beliefs. It can be difficult to do this when it is a matter of values and religion. However, remember that your child will not be a child his whole life. He needs to learn to make decisions himself to succeed in the world. Listen to your child without judgment. Let her tell you where she is coming from and why. Don't explain why you feel she is wrong. Just be quiet and listen. She may have a point - or you may completely disagree. Either way, respect her individualism and let her express her thoughts to you. This lets her know that she matters to you and will help her feel comfortable in opening up to you. Discuss each other's beliefs openly without expectations. Once it has been established that your beliefs differ, have open discussions regularly. You can tell each other about your faiths without judgment or expectations. The goal in these discussions is not to convince each other one way or the other. Rather, it should be to understand the other's faith whether you agree with it or not. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network Positive Parenting Tips to Keep Small Children from Sneaking Food
"No, James! I told you to ask first," repeats a frustrated mom for what seems like the hundredth time that day. If this sounds like your house, you may want to try some positive parenting techniques to keep your little one from sneaking food. Many parents have been down this road before with at least one child. As a veteran mom with kids of varying ages, I've had plenty of experience in this area. The first part of solving the issue lies in discovering the root of the sneakiness. Some kids may have an eating disorder, so it's also important to talk to the pediatrician first. These extra positive parenting tips that worked for us may help as well, if approved by the child's doctor.
Is your child getting enough food and nutrition? As children grow, they tend to eat more than they usually would, especially if they are going through a growth spurt. Some kids will even eat more than some adults. Look for signs that tell you to adjust your child's portion size at meals. If your child tries to go back for seconds and thirds or tries to have snacks immediately after dinner, you may not be providing enough to begin with. Also, pay attention to what food he sneaks and report this to the doctor, in case there is a nutritional deficiency. There may be certain vitamins and minerals lacking from the diet that your child is trying to compensate for. Are there enough snacks in between meals? If your child is trying to hoard or steal food, that may simply be a signal that he needs snacks. Keep a schedule of the times your child most often tries to steal food. If it occurs at similar times, schedule a snack at that time. If it's random, your child's feeding schedule may be inconsistent. Try to feed your child his meals and snacks at the same time every day so that his body can better form a hunger pattern. The actual time does not matter as much as it matters that the schedule stays the same. Watch for hunger cues. If you learn how your child behaves when hungry, you can intercept before he tries to sneak food. Being proactive like this is a more positive parenting method than being reactive. If you catch your child before he even thinks of doing the act, this can lessen instances without having to reprimand. If the sneaking has become a bad habit, this method may be tiring at first, but it will be worth it to see your child's sneaky food behaviors improve. Should you lock the cupboards and refrigerator? While this can be an easier temporary solution for frustrated parents, it can only make some children want the food more. It also can make a hoarding problem worse because they will want to hide food for later if they know they cannot access it easily. As small children get older, they will be more curious about how to remove the locking mechanisms. A more positive parenting method is to teach them to ask for the food, rather than take it. This way, when they are old enough to figure out locks, they are mature enough to understand why they shouldn't just steal food all the time. Never refuse food, unless it's absolutely necessary. Most children will know when they are full and will not be asking for food. Unless your child has obviously had enough, never say no when he asks for food. Also, if he sneaks food, ask something like "Why didn't you just ask for that?" If you do this consistently, your child will eventually learn that sneaking food is not necessary. This more positive way of teaching the lesson helps avoid making your child feel bad about food. Never, ever make a child feel bad about food. Also, do not use food as a reward. There needs to be a fair balance for your child to have healthy food behaviors. Using positive parenting methods to revert your child's food focus can be extremely helpful. But just like any other method, consistency is key. Be proactive, not reactive. In time, you will likely see a big improvement in your child's behavior and thoughts toward food. Note: The author's positive parenting method has evolved into what she calls Upstream Parenting. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network Building a Toddler's Self-Confidence Without Over-Inflating It Toddlers don't have a care in the world, or at least it may seem that way to those of us who have bills and other big responsibilities. But just because your toddler does not have the same stress as you does not mean he or she isn't capable of feeling a little down. Building a toddler's self-esteem is all about patience, understanding and praise. But how do you build self-confidence without making your toddler think he or she is the best creation in the universe? As a veteran mother and former nanny, I've been down this road plenty of times.
Independence is key. This is always my No. 1 method of building self-confidence in toddlers. If they know they can do things for themselves, it helps them feel accomplished. As parents, it can be tempting to do everything for our kids. But remember that each task you do that they are capable of is keeping them from learning and growing. If you want to help, show them how to do it, and then just step back and let them do it. Toddlers can't very well be confident in their abilities if they aren't allowed freedom to practice them. Redirect instead of scolding, when possible. If toddlers do something wrong, it should be made known. But there is no reason to scold or make them feel bad about it. Simply redirect them to a more appropriate activity. Make sure they know why they are being restricted from a certain action or activity, and praise them for transitioning nicely. Like other methods, this only works if you are consistent. Be sure to redirect your toddler each time he or she takes that specific action. Not being allowed to do it is punishment enough. Scolding can destroy their self-esteem and make them feel worthless. By redirecting, you are teaching the lesson but allowing your toddler to remain confident in his or her abilities. Notice the good things and make it obvious. Don't just point out the bad behavior. When your toddler is behaving, let him or her know you are impressed. Building a toddler's self-esteem is essential, but you don't want to overdo it. Be careful not to do this for every single good behavior because this can lead to over-inflation of the ego. But pointing out the good things is important. Do it randomly, and make it genuine. Track goals with a simple chart. When toddlers can visually see something they have achieved, it can be great for the ego. Make a chart of some of the things they are expected to do each day, such as brushing their teeth, reading a book, picking up their toys, making their bed, and more. Use stickers or magnets to mark what has been done each day. When toddlers look at what they have accomplished, their self-esteem will likely rise. Allow them to make choices. Toddlers need to know they are trusted. This is an essential part of building self-esteem. When you're small, it seems like everyone can do things better than you can. Let your toddler make choices on a regular basis. These can be both big and small choices, but be sure they are things your toddler can handle. For instance, let your toddler choose his or her outfit in the morning. When shopping, give your toddler choices, even if that means his or her entire wardrobe turns out purple, like my daughter's. Building a toddler's self-esteem is all about choice and independence. The advice in this article was written by an experienced parent, not a licensed mental health professional. Consult an appropriately licensed health professional if your child shows signs of depression or other health issues. Navigating the bustling environment of a fast food restaurant with children can be challenging, but with the right strategies, it's entirely possible to ensure they behave appropriately. If you've ever encountered a child treating the restaurant like a playground, you're not alone. As a parent to several well-mannered children, I've seen my share of unruly behavior, yet I’ve managed to keep such incidents at bay with my kids. Here’s how you can do the same, ensuring a peaceful meal for everyone.
Understand the Environment Isn’t a Playground During a visit to a local Chipotle, my children and I observed the disruptive behavior of two young diners who seemed oblivious to the chaos they caused. Their relentless running and the potential dangers it presented—a possible slip from a spilled drink, or worse, choking—highlighted a lack of initial guidance from their caregiver. It’s crucial from the get-go to establish that the dining area is for eating, not for play. Settling children at their table promptly can teach them to associate the space with sitting and eating rather than running and playing. Consistency is Key in Messaging It’s disheartening to see children receive mixed signals from their guardians. In the same Chipotle, it took a considerable amount of time before the children were instructed to sit down, and when they were, the guidance was neither gentle nor consistent. Such inconsistency can confuse children about expected behaviors and boundaries. Clearly lay out expectations right from the start; let your children know that while they can be relaxed, the restaurant is not a place for rough play. Model Appropriate Behavior Children learn by example, and they are always watching and mimicking adult behavior. If a parent is engaged in loud conversations, constantly on their phone, or pacing around, children will likely emulate these actions. To foster good public conduct in your kids, lead by example. Show them how to be respectful and attentive in social settings. This not only teaches them how to behave but also ensures they respect the shared space of others. Keep Basic Needs in Check Another pivotal aspect of managing child behavior is addressing their fundamental needs. At Chipotle, the restless children had not been provided with food or drinks, which were only given out of kindness by the staff. A lack of nourishment can lead to irritable or hyperactive behavior. Always ensure your children are fed and have something to keep them engaged, such as coloring books, crayons, or quiet toys. Meeting these basic needs can significantly enhance their demeanor and reduce the likelihood of disruptive behavior. Implementing these simple yet effective strategies can make your dining experience enjoyable not just for you and your children, but for everyone around you. Remember, a fast food restaurant is a community space, and fostering a considerate and respectful environment starts with you and your children. So next time you're dining out, use these tips to ensure a peaceful and enjoyable meal. LAST UPDATED 5/6/2024 *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network Disciplining Without Yelling: Important for All Children
Many parents resort to yelling or shouting when their children do not listen. However, this may be damaging to your child in many ways. It can even affect the way your child behaves in school and what he thinks of himself. As a mother to many (with experience in nannying and babysitting), I have researched this topic extensively over the years.
Are You Healing or Hurting Your Child? Parental actions can either be the cause of a child's negative reactions or the cause of their healing process. It is up to the parent to decide which is better for their child. Obviously, most would choose the latter. What Are Some of The Negative Effects of Yelling? Multiple studies have shown that yelling can cause many negative effects for children. Some of those effects are feelings of fear, feeling insecure, feeling unworthy, low self-esteem, misbehavior in school or other public places, disruptive behavior, immunity to any type of discipline that involves yelling or speaking loudly, and many more. Is Your Child Worth The Struggle Not to Yell? Children are a difficult crowd to please at times, especially those with behavioral issues or those used to getting their own way. But, it can be much easier if you are willing to go through a small period of struggle first. What have you got to lose? You are likely already struggling, so a short-lived struggle is much better than an everyday one. First Steps in Ending Yelling As a Form of Discipline The first thing you need to do is make the conscious decision that you will no longer yell or shout at your child. There is a difference between speaking with a firm tone and yelling or shouting. When you speak with a firm tone, you are simply flattening your voice and you have a serious look on your face. You will be just a touch louder than normal, but you will not be close to yelling. If you are downstairs and someone upstairs can hear you, you are too loud and you are yelling. Organizing Your "No-Yelling" Plan Once you have made the decision not to yell anymore, you need a plan. Write down all the possible misbehaviors that you think your child might partake in. It doesn't have to be too specific. For example, taking a Barbie from a sibling and taking a book from a sibling is essentially the same thing, so that category could be "Using Other People's Property Without Permission". Organize the list and be sure that you don't have items that could be contained into the same category. After you have that list, rewrite it neatly on a separate piece of paper, leaving a few lines blank after each category. In those blank lines, write down what type of discipline could be used for each item. Some types of discipline will be repeated. Putting The No-Yelling Discipline Plan Into Action Think of a creative way to organize your list and frame it. Place it in an area that will be easy to access for the whole family. Whenever a child misbehaves, take him or her to the list and show him or her what the appropriate punishment is. Follow through every time. This means every time your child repeats an action that is not acceptable, take that child to chart and each time follow through with the corresponding punishment. The adjustment may be hard at first, but over time, it will get easier for you as well as for your child. Note: The author's positive parenting method has evolved into what she calls Upstream Parenting. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network
by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff
Is your baby in need of some discipline? If your baby is crying frequently and it's been determined that it isn't a medical issue, you might need these easy discipline tricks for babies. As an experienced mother and former nanny, I have cared for many babies. Disciplining babies is not as difficult as it may seem. With babies, discipline is more about consistency and routine. Babies are not actually misbehaving when whining or crying. That is the way they know how to communicate. Easy discipline tricks for babies should be gentle and offer love, consistency, and guidance.
Love is a Simple, Effective Discipline Trick A happy baby is generally a well-behaved baby, in my experience. What makes babies happier than love? I'm not talking just hugs and kisses either, but those are good too. Love also involves taking care of all of baby's basic needs such as feeding, burping, diapering, clothing, playing, and soothing. Keeping baby happy with basic care, love, and entertainment may be all that is required for some babies. Routine as Discipline is Easy Forming a routine schedule for feedings, naps, playtime, and bedtime is one of the most simple discipline tricks for babies. If the schedule is followed consistently, most babies automatically become accustomed to it. Therefore, this can help avoid instances where the baby wants to get up and play at one or two in the morning. The baby who does this is not misbehaving because during the baby stage it is up to the parent to establish a routine. Changing the routine even once can form unwanted habits. Parental Limits Make for Easy Discipline As a parent, I fully understand wanting to do so many things for your baby. However, we must set limits. Do not give in to every single demand. Of course babies need to have basic needs met and also need to have some fun. However, it can hinder them later if you always give them every single thing they want. For some parents, this may not belong under easy discipline tricks for babies because it can be difficult at times not to give in. But trust me, it will pay off as they become toddlers and start moving into the "Terrible Two's" stage. Toy Purposing Simplifies Discipline Toy purposing is another of my favorite easy discipline tricks for babies. Keep different toys in different areas and for different purposes. Many times when babies get cranky, they actually are just bored. Pulling out different toys can help solve that issue. Have a special set of toys for doctor visits, another for car rides, one for park outings, etc. This way, babies don't bore with the toys as easily. Plus, when they get cranky, it can seem like you are giving them a new toy. If they don't see the same toys all the time, the toys can be a welcome distraction. Positive Redirection Makes Disciplining Babies Easy Some babies can be a little feistier and may need to be gently redirected into a different activity or situation. If a baby is getting frustrated over something, simply remove them from the situation. If two babies are fighting over a toy, remove both babies and give them each a different toy. If a baby is getting frustrated at trying to reach a mobile toy, place the baby away from the mobile for a while. Positive redirection is simply a way to let the baby know that the behavior is not acceptable without even having to say so. You are showing this to the baby with the easy discipline trick of removing the situation. Note: The author's positive parenting method has evolved into what she calls Upstream Parenting. Your child is special and unique and should be taught accordingly. We all face the struggle of trying to get our children to memorize their facts and do their homework. We spend so much time searching for a better answer. I like the method of using a child's interests to enhance learning. While I can't guarantee you that my answer is the only answer, I can guarantee you that it's at least worth a try. Your child will definitely have fun and probably learn some things along the way.
So, what is this secret method? Well, it may not be a secret, but sometimes we don't think about it. What I suggest doing is keying in on your child's interests to form your lesson plans. This can work for homeschool or just plain studying. First, you should make a list of the top ten things your child enjoys the most. Next, using this list, think of ways you can use these interests to help your child learn. Here's an example of a miniature plan for a child named Johnny. Find your child's key interests and use them to teach him lessons. Johnny enjoys swimming, playing basketball, video games, visiting the park, climbing trees, and many other outdoor activities. Johnny is struggling in multiplication and division. He also hates to read. His mom decides to take him to the park and play a game of basketball with him. During basketball, she asks him "If I can make 3 baskets in 5 minutes, how many baskets can I make in fifteen minutes?" Well, Johnny is confused, so his mom says, "All you have to do is see how many 5s it takes to make fifteen by skip counting first." Johnny's answer is 3, so his mom then says "So, if I make 3 baskets 3 times, what does that give me. You can count by 3s." When Johnny answers "9", his mother is very happy. Keep up the rhythm to enhance learning skills. In Johnny's case, his mom continues to play games like this with him, being sure to show him visually what she is talking about. For reading, Johnny's mom purchases a few different computer games that enhance reading and comprehension games because Johnny likes video games. Since he likes games with action, she makes sure that all the games have plenty of that. The video games are played at least 3 times per week. She also makes sure that Johnny has fun practice for both subjects every day. Sometimes the games she makes up are the same and sometimes they're not. Keep it fun and consistent. As you can see, Johnny's mom has begun to draw on her son's interests to get him more interested in learning. It's just as simple for you to do the same. Your games can be simple or complex. Gear the complexity around you and your child. Don't make learning seem like a chore. Make it fun and your child will view it as such. During homework time, play little games with the homework problems. Just be creative at all times, always drawing on your child's interests. When your child starts to get excited wondering what you will do each day, instead of groaning about the homework, that's when you know you've made a real difference. Carry your children; not just physically, but spiritually (this may or may not be in a religious way). A parent is the strongest motivation for a child. Encourage your children to reach full potential. When they are discouraged, lift that burden so they can soar. Carry them like the wind. *This tip was derived from a series I previously published via Yahoo Contributor Network that was compiled into a book and eventually inspired my latest method, Upstream Parenting. by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff A child is a precious person who needs special attention every day. Each day there should be a special moment between you and each of your children, a moment only the two of you share. Whether you share a laugh, a piece of pie, or a game of make-believe, your child needs a moment with you each day. Have you shared anything with your child today? *This tip was derived from a series I previously published via Yahoo Contributor Network that was compiled into a book and eventually inspired my latest method, Upstream Parenting. by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff Whenever I venture outside, especially during the summer, I expect to hear objectifying comments from a few directions before I reach my destination. Sad, but nonetheless true. I don't like it but I generally shake it off, except one of those I heard today. It wasn't what was said but who it came from. A young child , probably not more than eight (my own son is this age), was yelling comments at me like “D***, you're hot”, “Hey lady, come here”, and the obligatory whistle. Wow, really? Where did he pick that up from? He had to have heard it somewhere. I don't want to immediately judge and say it came from the parents because it may not have. Perhaps he saw someone else do it. I don't know where this kid got the lesson on objectifying women in that way, but wow is that dangerous or what? It's also not the way a young child should be looking at a woman or even a girl (or boy). First off, it's simply a disrespectful act and if he is already doing it this young, it could become a habit. But what terrified me more is that this kid could do that to the wrong person – a pedophile . And where were the parents? You tell me. Him and presumably his siblings or friends were outside an apartment building in a group with no adults around at all. I did what should be done in response to that kind of behavior – and because adults shouldn't be speaking too much to kids they don't know. I ignored it. But not everyone would respond in that way. I have no idea of where this little boy may have learned this behavior. However, it did prompt me to warn parents to watch what their kids are exposed to. Parents, please supervise your kids – and please don't teach them to objectify people. Teach them to respect them instead. *I originally published this elsewhere (no longer published there). Spanking does more harm than good. I know that I will upset some people with that statement. But due to my long-term experience with kids, there's no way I can come to any other conclusion. Not only am I parent to many, but I also have nannied and babysat many children.
We all want our kids to be respectful, upstanding citizens. But is spanking really the best way to do that? While kids may listen to an order after being spanked, that doesn't mean this is the best method of discipline. Short-term effectiveness means nothing, as far as long-term lessons and damage. There are several reasons I've come to the same conclusions time and again. In fact, in all of my years of being around children, in every single case where spanking is used as a form of discipline, every one of the following reasons I won't spank comes into play. Spanking can cause a dangerous fear. In my observance of those who have been spanked, they listen only because they are afraid -- and only when they know someone is around that will deliver that form of punishment. The behavior is often repeated when the child no longer has a fear of receiving that punishment. This can cause the child to misbehave for others. These children often fear not only the punishment, but the deliverer of said punishment. In many of these instances, if a child needs to confide in someone (even about dangerous issues like bullying), they often will not do so out of fear. This is very dangerous territory for a parent. A child cannot fear the person they should be able to come to for help and advice. Spanking can cause misconceptions regarding hitting. Another issue that is very common among spanked children is the resolution of problems through violence. Time and time again, I see children who are spanked hitting friends, siblings, and sometimes authority figures when things don't go the way they'd like. By hitting a child as a means of solving a problem, you are teaching that child to hit other people if they don't do what they want them to. That is not the way to lead a productive citizenship among society. Imagine if your boss at work slapped you every time he/she wasn't happy with the way you handled something. Spanking your child is exactly the same thing. Spanking can lead to bullying. An extensive study found that kids who were spanked were twice as likely to participate in aggressive behaviors, such as bullying, fighting, and otherwise being mean to other kids. Children who were spanked by the age of three were highly likely to bully by the age of five. This goes back to the previous point that when you teach a child they will be hit when they don't do what they are told, they learn that this is the way to treat others as well. You can't go around hitting everyone that doesn't do what you tell them. Children are not robots. Why do some parents feel that children are supposed to do each and every thing we order them to do? Some things make sense, especially when you are teaching safety and responsibility. However, as parents, we should be raising our children to think for themselves so that they know how when they go out on their own in the world. They can't go out into the streets and just say yes to everything other people tell them. Also, everything will not be handled by others. They need to know how to do things for themselves and figure out how to make it. Zero Spanking Does Not Mean Zero Discipline. I wish I had a dollar for every time someone made statements implying that just because I don't spank my children, they wouldn't learn a lesson or be well-behaved. Many of these same people are dealing with kids who have been in trouble for fighting, bearing weapons, and other violent or destructive behavior. Positive Parenting Does Not Mean Zero Discipline. Discipline should not be done to prove a point or come out of frustration. Appropriate disciplinary techniques should be unique to the specific situation and produce a positive and productive result. Just because someone does not spank does not mean their children don't have consequences. In fact, children who aren't spanked but are given alternative consequences have always learned the lesson faster, in my experience. This is because when you give a child a consequence that is related to the situation, it causes them to actually think of the situation itself, rather than the punishment. The above said, I am a firm believer that there is more than one way to parent a child and I don't look down on those who choose to use methods other than those I use with my own children. It simply is nature that mistakes come with parenting. Part of being a good parent is learning from those mistakes, so the same ones don't happen over and over. It can come in handy to keep a written record of those mistakes that can easily be referenced if need be. As a seasoned parent, I have come up with many parenting ideas. Some have been successful and some have not. That's just par for the course. The Parenting Mistake Journal is one of my favorite ideas that I've had over the years and I'd love for other parents to be able to utilize this one as well.
When Should I Write In My Parenting Mistake Journal? Anytime a parenting strategy does not have the expected results is a great time to use the parenting mistake journal. When doing so, remember also to write down ideas on why you feel the strategy may not have worked out, as well as how it may have been more successful. Should I Share My Parenting Mistake Journal? The answer to this question depends on the circumstance, as well as how comfortable you may feel doing so. In some instances, it can be good to admit to your kids that you've made a mistake, as well as let it be known how you intend to solve it. This can foster acceptance of mistakes in the kids, as well as the desire to resolve them. Sharing your parenting mistake journal can be a great way to open up discussion in some situations. As the parent, it is your responsibility to decide what is and is not a good situation in which to share your parenting mistake journal.
Will Some People Be Offended By My Parenting Mistake Journal? It is possible that some may be offended by what you write in your parenting mistake journal. If you feel this is a possibility with your family, either keep your parenting mistake journal private or word it in such a way that will still allow you to learn and grow, but is more attentive to the feelings of others. How Can I Make My Parenting Mistake Journal a Keepsake? Some parents may choose to make a keepsake of their parenting mistake journal. When the children are grown, this can be a unique and interesting way to share parenting lessons and memories. It also could be great for grown children to use as a reference when they have their own ideas. There are scrapbooks that are designed in three-ring binder style, but can be beautifully decorated. These would make for a lovely parenting mistake journal that would double as a keepsake. Remember that decorations can be added later, after you have written the parenting mistake journal. Pages can be taken out of the original journal and placed in a new one for decoration. There are many ways to do this. Be creative. LAST UPDATED 8/27/2022 *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network Who doesn't love a good family karaoke session? But how do you know which songs to sing? My kids and I enjoy karaoke often. Here are some tips and some of the songs we feel are the best for a family karaoke night.
Choosing good family songs Good songs for family karaoke night will run the gamut, as far as style and artist. Be sure to choose songs appropriate for the ages of all family members. It's also good to have a variety of different styles of music. This way no one is left out. Don't forget to account for both male and female vocals and remember that males can sing female solos and vice versa. Just let everyone choose whatever they like. Family karaoke night activities When kids are involved, it's good to mix things up and have different activities surrounding the karaoke. This keeps them interested for longer than a few minutes. One idea is “Musical Karaoke”. Play it just like “Musical Chairs” except instead of stopping and starting a radio, the person singing karaoke stops and starts at random. Best songs for family karaoke night “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor “A Whole New World” from Disney's Aladdin movie “I'll Stand by You” by Carrie Underwood “Flying Without Wings” by Ruben Studdard “Part of Your World” from Disney's “The Little Mermaid” movie “Wild, Wild West” by Will Smith “I Hope You Dance” by LeeAnn Womack “Wild Horses” by Natasha Bedingfield “You are Not Alone” by Michael Jackson “Just a Girl” by No Doubt “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus “Something More” by Sugarland “Hakuna Matata" from Disney's “The Lion King”
by Kel McCollum, Health News Expert
For the past couple of decades, an erroneous psychological theory has dominated the way that not only schools and teachers, but also parents and family members, approach children. The “Self-Esteem Movement” dates back to 1969, but it wasn’t until 1999 that psychologists and researchers began to realize one critical flaw in the kind of thinking perpetuated by the movement itself: it did not work.
While self-esteem has always been a crucial element of the success of any child, the movement that sought to increase self-esteem in the next generation of adults by showering them with praise and telling them that they were “little princesses,” “geniuses,” and “winners” did little to nothing in terms of making children feel more comfortable and confident about themselves. In fact, this kind of excessive outward praise proved to be more debilitating for many students than the lack of self-esteem itself. 2010 Ohio State University study found that today’s college students crave this kind of praise above all else, even more than sex or money. The study was published in the Journal of Personality, and the results indicated that many of today’s young adults have a greater sense of entitlement than ever before. Jean Twenge, a fellow psychologist at San Diego State University, expands upon the results of similar studies and what it means to society in the book “Generation Me.” "What you really see is . . . it's this kind of empty self-esteem where you're supposed to feel special just for being you, that everyone's a winner and we should all feel good about ourselves all the time, which kind of ignores that self-esteem is usually based on something,” Twenge says. All of this information begs the question of exactly how parents can actually help boost their child’s self-esteem. While praise does not actually help add to a child’s sense of self-worth, accomplishing things and achieving personal goals does. Achievement and goals are defined differently for each child, and for each age group, but there are two main things that parents can do to help: finding activities that offer the opportunity for achievement, and providing guidance and encouragement. For younger kids, a sense of accomplishment could be derived from the completion of a craft, a coloring page, or even a board game. Sports offer greater self-confidence for children of all ages, and self-esteem is could also be derived from a good grade or exceptional performance in school for school-aged children. But goals should not all be centered around one type of activity. Psychologists emphasize that social activities, settling disagreements, and making friends are equally important. Children must learn effective social and relationship skills as well as intellectual and athletic skills. SOURCES: Roy F. Baumeister, “Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles?” Journal of the Association for Psychological Science. http://psi.sagepub.com/content/4/1/1.abstract Maureen Salamon, “For College Students, Praise May Trump Sex and Money,” Business Week. Richard Lee Colvin, “Losing Faith in the Self-Esteem Movement,” Los Angeles Times. http://articles.latimes.com/1999/jan/25/news/mn-1505 Michael Hurd, “The Error of the Self-Esteem Movement,” Capitalism Magazine.
Kel McCollum is a full-time freelance writer with over five years of experience in writing for the web and search engine optimization best practices. She also has extensive experience as a working journalist and has produced numerous articles for print publications in the area of health, travel, self-improvement, and business topics.
Ms. McCollum works to help small business owners and internet marketers make the most of the Internet by using keyword-optimized content that drives traffic and increases conversions. She also provides information, resources, and mentoring to other freelancers and aspiring writers through the Writer Reality website. A Parent's Guide to Raising Voracious Readers
by Sandra Lynn Robinov (aka AskSan); Contributing Writer
My daughter spends time during the summer months with her dad (something she's done since our divorce); and I always worry that she will lose what she's learned the past school year (and from me) while she's living it up with him. That is not to say I think he will "dumb her down" but...well, maybe its my Type A personality scooting to the front during the summer months; on top of just plain missing my little girl, of course.
This summer there were no worries. During many of our long (girl-talk) conversations I was treated to a good read (chapter book or short story) from my 7 year old genius. Proud mom? Without a doubt! I am always amazed with how smart my Maggie is; and do credit all of her influences -- not just me -- however, I can absolutely take pride in how well she reads, her inflection and comprehension, and her ability to pronounce, define, and use big words; as well as small ones. The following 5 tips do not even take much conscious thought on my part. At least at the time of implementation. As with most other things, I try to parent in a sensible way with respect to what I was taught as a child and what I learned as I got older. With that in mind I would like to share what I consider five key ways for turning your child into a lover of the written word. With a healthy appetite for reading anyone can do anything they put their mind to. 5 Ways to Advance Your Child's Reading: (1) Be a reader and share your love with your child: All kids like to copy what they see others doing and if your child sees you reading often, he or she will want to as well. (2) Read to your child daily: I've been reading to Maggie since she was but a blob in my belly. Spend 10-15-20 minutes or more a day sharing a story with your child. (3) Encourage your child to help you read the story you've chosen: Once your child is old enough to start recognizing certain words, let him or her become an active part of telling the story. (4) Seek outside help (workbooks and/or tutoring): Don't be afraid to admit that you wish your child was a better reader. If the situation reaches a point where you need outside tutoring, there are plenty of ways to get it. Check out your local libraries, bookstores, and research on-line for great tools to help get your child to enjoy reading. (5) Take time to hear a story and interact with your child: Once your child can read on his or her own, encourage private time -- for them to read on their own -- and time with them to hear their story. Help with big words -- pronouncing and defining, teach proper inflection (e.g., reading questions, character conversations, etc.), and make this a fun part of your day. The Bottom Line?Again, the above is working for us and I am consistently amazed by my smart girl. I believe in nature and nurture when raising a child and this is one area where I can honestly say I had something to do with her reading success. Oh, and don't forget to praise your child when he or she blows you away with this awesome reading ability! Good luck raising voracious readers!!! Sources:
* Sandra Lynn Robinov is an expert reader and mother to a wonderful daughter who reads at two grade levels above her age.
As a mom to many (who is also experienced at babysitting and nannying), I have dealt with many bumps and scrapes along the way. Some children will scream for a small nick and some will not even flinch or give any injury a second thought. I have learned over the years that much of the child's reaction has to do with the parent or care-giver's reaction. Learn how to keep a child screaming or overreacting about small cuts, scrapes, and other minor injuries.
Check Yourself First If the adult drops everything and runs screaming in panic for every small cut, then so will the child. That is no way to keep a child from screaming about cuts, scrapes, and other injuries. As the adult, it is your responsibility to calm and soothe a child in a stressful or painful situation, not to make it ten times worse. Even if you are scared, worried, or nervous, the best thing you can do for the child is to never allow the child to see how you feel. Soothe Without Alarming A better thing to do is to aid the child with whatever first aid is needed, all the while acting like and verbalizing that everything is okay. Let the child know that he or she will be just fine, even in an emergency situation. Take all the precautionary steps necessary, but without upsetting the child about their cut, scrape, or other minor injury. Do not let on that something might be wrong. Get Help And Stay Calm You can call 911, if needed, obviously, but still reassure the child. Do not ever let the child see you panic. If it is an emergency situation, sometimes stress can worsen certain conditions. It is always best to keep the child calm. If you cannot keep calm during the minor situations, such as cuts and scrapes, neither will the child. Children learn from what they observe. If a child gets worked up over a minor situation, imagine how panicked the same child could be over a big incident. End The Drama And Be The Mama (Or Dad) Instead When I was maybe around 18 years old, I knew a girl that always panicked for minor cuts. She would act as if she were going to die. No matter how many times someone would attempt to soothe her, it never worked. It would take her over an hour to calm down. I always worried that if she ever had anything serious happen to her, she would put herself into shock. I'm not sure if that's possible, but I know she would likely get a nervous breakdown. I'm not sure if anything bad happened to her, but I sure hope it didn't. The reason for bringing up that girl is that I remember her mom doing the same. If she tripped lightly, her mom would rush to her and say, "Oh, honey, are you okay?" Even if she said she was, her mom would still continue asking again and again and offering her band-aids and ice for something that wasn't even there. She would scream and panic. This mother's behavior likely led to the child's behavior. As I said before, children learn from observing those around them, especially their parents. Gentle Guidance Toward Knowing When Situations Are Minor This is how I suggest handling minor situations. If the child just trips, a quick "Uh-Oh" and a laugh is really all that is necessary, especially if the child isn't hurt. If the child is hurt, still do the same and examine the child in a fun way, like mentioning that you want to search for Elmo or some other funny thing. Look at the child's injury and determine what needs to be done. Then, do it, but make it fun and say things like "Oh, that doesn't look bad at all. Let's just put a band-aid (or whatever other treatment is necessary) on here in case. " Doing it in a fun way not only helps the child forget what is going on, but it also reassures the child everything is okay. After all, it must be okay if the adult is laughing, smiling, and playing. Does your child overreact about minor injuries or laught it off or something in between? What behaviors of yours are affecting the outcome and do any need changing? Drop us a comment with your experience below. Last updated 12/7/2020 |
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